Archive for November, 2003

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Emmett Till – Matthew Shepard

Friday, November 28th, 2003

Emmett Till was a fourteen year old Black boy living in Chicago in 1955. He was on his way to visit relatives in Money, Mississippi. He came home without himself, just his dead body, mutilated beyond belief. Emmett Till was a baby, just a boy, fucking FOURTEEN!!! He wasn’t a civil rights activist. He wasn’t a criminal. He didn’t come to file complaints against the Jim Crow law. He was visiting his great uncle. At first he was having fun. His cousins and he became friends quickly and they were playfully teasing each other outside of a market in the middle of town. Emmett was showing off a photo he had of himself and a pretty white girl, his girlfriend. His cousins were shocked and didn’t believe him, as things were different there in Money. This was the kind of town where a few weeks earlier a young Black girl had been beaten almost to death for “crowding” a white woman.



A pretty white girl walked by and went into a store. Emmett’s cousins, knowing he would never do it, dared him to flirt with her. Little Emmett Till had been raised in the North, and had no way of knowing that taking this little dare, harmless and sweet, would cost him his life. His cousins were shocked when Emmett followed the girl into the store. They tried to stop him but they didn’t get to. There was not much interaction between Emmett and the girl. Speculation range here from a possible catcall, a whistle, maybe a “Bye, Bye baby….” Less than two days later, Emmett Till was no longer Emmett Till, but a broken symbol of how hatred lives and kills and rots us from the inside out.



Racism is a cancer that is unstoppable if unchecked. Emmett Till is a messianic figure, because his murderers were actually tried for murder, not that it had been the first time white on black violence had reached the courthouses in Mississippi, even though there had been a long standing immunity against white lynchers in the courts of Money (just fucking ponder that for a second – immunity – LONG STANDING) but the brutality of the killing, the age of the victim, juxtaposed with the unbearably tiny offense of flirting – fucking FLIRTING??!!! – brought so much publicity to the case, it caused a wave of outrage from the entire nation. Jet Magazine printed photographs of poor baby Emmett Till. Thousands attended his funeral. His mother had insisted on an open casket so that all could see what they had done to her baby.



The men charged with the murder, Roy Bryant and J. W. Milam, were declared innocent, but in my world, memory is a jail from which you can never escape and they suffered, their cages not made of iron, but the indelible blood and guilt are bar and shackles that will never set you free.



So thus began the Civil Rights Movement. Some months later Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, claiming her right to be, to exist, to be equal and free, just like any other American.



We have come some fair distance in the continuing struggle for racial balance. It is only fair, average, a little better than okay. But there is lynching still. And we don’t need ropes anymore, there are more efficient ways of doing it. I am not just talking about Rodney King, but we can start there. There is worse.



Amadou Diallo, just a few years ago, shot 44 times by police in NYC for holding his hands up in surrender. Wouldn’t you say that is a lynching? Jermaine Jackson called what is happening to Michael Jackson a ‘modern day lynching.’ Where is the evidence against Michael? When asked, almost all white celebrities call Michael a ‘freak’ and ‘it’s about time,’ and black celebrities talk about the music he made, what he did for them, his contribution to the world of song, for the sorrow and pain they feel for him, and they echo what Jermaine Jackson calls it. Lynching. I believe him, as I believe it is what is happening to Kobe Bryant. It seems that William Kennedy Smith can be acquitted, exonerated, welcomed back into the family fold. Arnold Schwarzenegger, accused of sexually molesting sixteen plus women, who was never brought to trial, is now governor of California.



Vincent Chin, a twenty three year old Chinese American, out on the town with his friends at his own bachelor party, was beaten to death by two white men. They were auto workers, frustrated at being laid off, blaming the Japanese automobile industry boom. This was their chance of getting revenge. Who cares if Vincent Chin was an American? Who cares if Vincent Chin was not in the auto industry? Who cares if Vincent Chin is not Japanese? These men were acquitted too after being fined a mere $3000. But they will pay, as they will never forget the inhumanity that gripped the baseball bat that would crush Vincent’s skull. They will never sleep easy again, hearing the sound of a man dying by their own hand. They will suffer for eternity, as God is just.



Matthew Shepard was the same as Emmett Till and Vincent Chin, the only difference being that Matthew was killed because he was gay, not black or Asian. Little Matthew Shepard, hung up like a scarecrow, but also like Christ, left in a Wyoming cornfield, dying as he looked up at the stars, wondering when God would come to get him.



Are you angry? I am. I am angry and I am sad. I can only say that we have not the luxury of our own privatized civil rights movements because the crimes, the hatred, the ignorance, the rage against the who/what/why some of us are, is a much much larger foe. We cannot fight alone, as this battle will be lost without alliance. But together, we are more than the sum of our parts. In union, in communion, in joining hands, we conquer all, for we have love on our side. We have God on our side. Most importantly, we have ourselves on our side.



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No Thank You

Thursday, November 27th, 2003

No thank you.



I do not wish to celebrate some holiday where the pilgrims and the Indians decided to have a potluck and the Indians bring some maize and the pilgrims bring whatever kind of bullshit those square hat, buckle shoe puritan motherfuckers eat, and then sat down together and gave thanks – for what? If I was the Indians, I would have RSVP’d a nice big old smoke signal “UNABLE TO ATTEND DUE TO YOUR IGNANCE. P.S. FUCK YOU MILES STANDISH!!!” I do not call this a holiday. It’s like saying we need to celebrate Kristallnacht (if you don’t know what that is, you just ignant and need to spend a day at the Museum of Tolerance – because you are intolerable) by breaking a bunch of glass and eating bratwurst. I don’t think so. We celebrate this holiday, to commemorate the fact that we destroyed and demolished almost an entire race of people. We came here, acted like “Oh – I got to leave England ’cause this religious persecution of me has got to go!” and acted like the land is ours. That was ignant.



We celebrate Thanksgiving to give thanks for giving all the native people crazy diseases that they never had because we never gave a thought there would be other people in the world besides us. We sit down and bow our heads in prayer because we took all of the different tribes and mixed them all up – thinking that since they looked somewhat similar that they all must get along and be the same even though they all had different Gods, religions, customs, histories, legends, genealogies, truths, wars going on between them – as if they were just one feather leather gang of primitives that needed taming. They were many nations. A true United States, but because if they didn’t wear those pointy ass buckle shoes and read out of the Bible, we just assumed they must be animals.



We all sit around and carve a turkey to get all nostalgic about how we made them walk hundreds of miles without food or water, as they cried and died, being forced to leave the valleys and mountains they loved and worshipped. By casting them out of their land, we were making them leave their heaven behind. That road is called the Trail of Tears and drivers today travel along it and the ghosts of all those dead innocents knock their cars off the road, make them see scary ass shit, make them get into accidents and die. All I can say is, you better take the 101 instead.



The turkey is stuffed with raped women, dead babies, warriors who were stripped of their ability to fight and could no longer protect their families – which to warriors – is a fate worse than death. Cranberry sauce is blood of Geronimo, Sitting Bull, the Comanches, the Braves- the warriors that despite all the odds, still had the spirit to fight for their land that was not only their home, but their God, that was spilt during Custer’s Last Stand. They did manage to kick some colonial ass though and I am glad to that. They bled for their families, so much that it soaked the ground, shed for no other reason than we just took it upon ourselves to evict the original OG old school United States and create our own U – whited States. (Fuck you I could make a pun if I want.)



There is pumpkin pie that we use to stuff down all the other starchy, tryptophan laden Boston Market bullshit, and reminisce about how we put the few remaining survivors in reservations, named not because you have to make reservations to get in because it is so nice and popular, but because we all have reservations about having to go there!!!! Many live there to this day, in poverty, with poor health care, rudimentary and insufficient education, suffering from depression, drug addiction, alcoholism – and yet we still INSIST it isn’t a concentration camp because it got a casino! This just proves us again to be incredibly ignant with no ability to concentrate.



We finish dinner and watch sports, and make a mockery of the names of the powerful warriors who fought so heroically, yet unsuccessfully – because they were unfairly outnumbered, trying to protect their people from utter and complete genocide. We eat so much that we get tired, and just plain forget that we wiped all the history books in schools clean of all our wrongdoing, our evils, our rape, our robbery, because we got to represent for the founding fathers, and we got to look presentable to the children. We have almost all but lost the beautiful religions, language, rituals, legends, the art of friendship and communication with the animals, the way to live peacefully with respect for the motherland. But it has been kept alive by the very few who remember, who pass it down to their descendants, the next generation. Those mothers telling their children, passing down the beauty of their beliefs, the power of their rituals, practicing the medicine and magic that still exists in the all of everywhere, no matter what has been done to try to extinguish it, remains real and as powerful as ever. They are keeping their knowledge of the land and their nations alive through the memory, through the voices, through the spirit that watches over us all, and they still are truly the owners of this country. They have won. They are still chiefs and warriors, braves and squaws. They have not been erased. They will never be.



I fast today (which you know I would not normally do because girl – I love to eat). It is a sick joke to call this ‘holiday’ Thanksgiving. It should be called Thanks – taking. Taking a land that was not ours, taking the lives of millions. I am thankful every other day of the year for my life, my family, all that I have. But today I say – “NO THANK YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A PIECE OF TURKEY CARTILAGE!”



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Michael

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003

Okay, Michael. What the fuck is going on? I don’t know, and I am afraid for you. I am a fan from back in the day. There were these girls who would hang out with me, and I spent weekends at their home in San Bruno, far from the battlefields of my parent’s bunker in San Francisco. They were mean girls, the kind who put salt on snails. Their names were Eunice and Genie, and I worshipped them, because they seemed to have a kind of power and mystique that sisters have, in their togetherness, which threw my loneliness into relief. They would make fun of me, but I was too unaware or overwhelmed with awe of them to understand what was going on. Later, sometime in summer camp, they decided that I wasn’t their friend anymore and filled my sleeping bag with dog shit. Eunice grew up to be fat, like in a scary and inexplicable way, not that fat is bad, but for her it spelled disaster, and she treated it as such. She became a shut in and an extremely nice neighbor. Genie had broken out with the worst adult acne in medical history. These are not concrete facts, but hearsay from my brother, who maintains a friendship with them both. But I digress.



How we loved Michael Jackson. We played that record more than it was reasonable, just taking the needle and putting it right back to the beginning. “Off the Wall” was a favorite and of course “Thriller.” He sang with the tenderness that a young girl needs to get by in the world. He sang the way that makes the little girls no longer afraid of men, or bad experiences with boys playing doctor in the woods by the old train tracks, the uncles who touched us when we were not yet women, and were not to be touched as if we were. Michael Jackson eased the relations between the sexes, and the inappropriate actions of adults against children at the very sound of his voice. If the allegations against Michael Jackson are true, irony is the true lord and master of all that is. His androgyny built in me a kind of trust, later reinforced by the relationships I would have with a few very important gay men, who parented me and made me who I am today. Michael Jackson was the comforting manchild, who would hold your hand, who you could laugh and sing along with. I remember the song, “Human Nature.” It seared me from the inside out, and the softness of his falsetto whisper, that was beauty, unbearably sad, and “four walls won’t hold me tonight.”



“If they say why? Why? Tell them that it’s human
nature. Why? Why? Do they do that way?”.



Oh my God, remember the video for “Thriller?” It was seventeen minutes long, directed by John Landis, fresh after the accidental helicopter beheading of Vic Morrow and two Cambodian children during the filming of “Twilight Zone,” weird factoid being is they say that the footage was used in the actual film because it was such a good take, but that is a rumor and I don’t believe it as much as I believe there is a ghost boy in “Three Men and a Baby” – and it had the disclaimer in the beginning that made sure that it was not in any way condoning the occult. He was a Jehovah’s Witness, so I guess that was an important thing to put in there. It was an amazing video, but I didn’t really associate the undead as part of the occult. To me the occult is Alistair Crowley and the Thelema and Dick Cheney, but I guess zombies are associated with it somehow. I wear my Thriller jacket everywhere, and people freak out on me, as if to say “What are you thinking?!” The only people who do not get upset are Black people, who recognize, touch the coat, laugh, call each other over to ask me about it, where I got it, if it is old, what my favorite song is, what their favorite song is. I know the Thriller dance. It is a really good dance, with a lot of pointing and the head bobbing back and forth. The video is hilarious because the zombies dance along with Michael and keep up just as well as they can, but their limbs are disintegrating and falling off. Back in the day, Michael gave me strength to go on. That kids hated me, that my family really didn’t want me to be in the world, that they would let molesters touch me in their presence and say nothing rather than ‘lose face,’ that I sometimes went to school with black eyes that I didn’t explain, that I almost never slept from age eight to about sixteen, that I was told over and over by my father that I was ugly and therefore would have to develop a good personality to overcome my handicap. Michael Jackson was there to sing to me, and “we gonna ride the boogie. I want to rock with you all night dance you into the sunlight. and you know that love survives.”



He helped me survive because I was gonna rock with him someday. I got older, and so did he. He changed. The hyperbolic chamber, the Elephant man skeleton, the plastic surgery, the nose that was not there anymore, the race erased by the vitiligo, the disease that made him whiter and whiter and made him look more like Lesley Ann Downe every day. Michael – what happened? You were there for me. I don’t know if I can repay my debt to you, to what your music gave me. I hope Liz Taylor is there for you. I hope that monkey is still around, or is he dead? I can’t remember. I don’t know what you did to those children. I ask nothing, I accuse nothing. I only say that you helped this child to grow up into a woman, to be fully alive, to not only survive, but to thrive. Thank you for that. I dare anyone now to go listen to “She’s Out of My Life” and not cry like a bitch.



[1st Verse]
She’s Out Of My Life
She’s Out Of My Life
And I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don’t Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She’s Out Of My Life



[2nd Verse]
It’s Out Of My Hands
It’s Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Years She Was Here
And I Took Her For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
She’s Out Of My Hands



[Bridge]
So I’ve Learned That Love’s Not Possession
And I’ve Learned That Love Won’t Wait
Now I’ve Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late



[3rd Verse]
She’s Out Of My Life
She’s Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She’s Out Of My Life



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VIBE Awards

Tuesday, November 25th, 2003

Bruce and I rocked the awards scene last week. I introduced Li’l Jon and the East Side Boyz at the VIBE awards. It was the experience of a lifetime.



I love hip hop, and these stars are bigger to me than anyone. I was a VIP so I got a good table really close to the front. To me, this is better than the Academy Awards. These are my idols. I screamed like a 12 year old girl at her first N’Sync in store. My hero, LL Cool J actually stood up and waved to me, then came over to my table!!! LL!!!! He hugged me and asked how I was doing and I whispered in his ear, “Oooh Daddy I’ve grown,” in reference to that hot song. He giggled and gave an apologetic handshake to my date – as if to say – “Sorry, your bitch out of pocket.” There were these girls at our table who I assume were nominees for the video vixen, an actual award given to the hot girl in a video, who hated me, and this made me hate them more. I think because I was really friendly at first and when presented with the script, the stage managers told me to be ‘crunky,’ which I couldn’t really picture. I know how it is to feel crunk, be crunked, get my crunk on, but how do you display crunk? Anyhow, I asked and they bitchily replied, “It is from a song. Duh,” acting like I had no business there because I was not black and not wearing a glorified bathing suit as a gown, and then readjusted the double stick tape keeping their breasts from falling out of their dresses. Then one said, “There is something wrong with your hair.” I looked at my date, and he said, “There is nothing wrong with your hair.”



Soon a lot of celebs started to fill the room, some I knew from magazines, P. Diddy, with his ever present valet, multicolored umbrella in hand, filling his water glasses and taking care of his every need, Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee, Beyonce who sat on the very far left, and not even that near Hova ( aka Jay Z. – rappers have a million nicknames) and seemed distracted, yet still the most beautiful woman on earth. There was Tischa Campbell and Duane Martin, who I met right before they got married, when we were filming “Fakin’ da Funk,” some of the finest work I have ever done on celluloid. It was the dumbest movie. I will write you all about it one day, but I suggest you rent it or get it off Amazon for 23 cents.



The award show began with an announcement from the VIBE editors, who expressed gratitude to all the participants, celebrities, and everyone who helped them put it together, to show that the hip hop community is a community, not a bunch of fighting thugs waiting to kill each other. I watched when Jimmy Kimmel interviewed 50 Cent and actually asked this fine playa – “Why aren’t you dead yet?” Rapper beefs are all hype from the music industry trying to use violence and death and racist attitudes about the toughness of these ‘gangstas’ to sell records to the kids who have been brainwashed into thinking that all that is the real good shit. I love 50 because he comes from the streets, he cleaned himself up and became a hot fucking dope MC, and he wore a G-Unit medallion, not only made of diamonds, it was hanging from a chain of diamonds!!!!! I have expressed my dismay at the diamond industry and how it is the most exploitive, especially in parts of South Africa, and the irony of the bling thing juxtaposed with the reality of the way that diamonds are actually bought and sold, especially in the rap game, but I lay that argument aside for a moment. 50 was beautiful, sparkling like a rare jewel, and if that inspires a kid to say, “Hey, they are there, I could be too someday.” That is enough for me.



The opening performance was from Outkast, Andre 3000 first with his cheerleaders and then Big Boi, who never really gets his props, following with a number echoing the military garb of Public Enemy. I stood up in my chair as all the cool rappers and executives sat and didn’t respond, just nodded beat by beat, but I was waving my hands screaming “Hey YA!!!!” and fucking crying like it was the Beatles in 1964. I love Andre, he is like a combination of Prince and Beck, sexy, funny, cool, ironic, ridiculous, lovely. He is a work of art, made by God on a really good day. I tripped David LaChappelle in the aisle, who was all tracksuited and blinged out, on purpose to say hi. I went backstage and looked high and low for Andre, but he was gone. Eddie Griffin asked me if I was part of Cirque de Soleil. I said, “No baby, I am old school, this is Barnum & Bailey! OK?! See this?” I asked, pointing to a chain going across my crotch. “That is a guard rail so playas don’t fall in.”



It was a hectic scene party backstage, but there was so much going on. Performances by Ludacris and Mary J. Blige were stellar, as well as an amazing Cotton Club style epic number by R. Kelly. I was hollering and screaming the entire time. The only real downer was Ashton Kutcher came out to present some award to somebody, and he talked about how he was scared because he thought he would get sucker punched backstage, or at the very least shot at. I thought that was really rude and racist. He was the biggest white star there, besides Robert Evans, and he is perpetuating the black stereotype, that we are violent, and left to our own devices, we will kill each other. I introduced Li’l Jon, pushing poor Franky G. out of the way so I could take up all the mike, and then introduced the Kings of Krunk. I figured out what krunk was by then. After the performance, Li’l Jon embraced me and boldly wouldn’t let go. He kept screaming “Notorious!!!Notorious!!!” It made me feel sweet and happy to be there. As we left, Snoop turned to kiss me on both cheeks. He is like God, with his way laid backness, everlasting Blackness, he is divine. He was so good at reeling Robert Evans in, when Evans said “There is more poon here than I have EVER seen outside of Miami.” Snoop gently brought him back to the teleprompter. I wondered where all the Black comics were. I saw Cedric the Entertainer for a split second, but he was gone in a flash. We got invited to the Outkast party, but I declined. There was too much to go around. The excitement made me weary.



Rap is a young man’s game. You usually see rock stars like Mick Jagger rocking his ass off, but there is not really any equivalent in rap. Where was Run DMC? Where was Grandmaster Flash? Gil Scot Heron? UTFO? I heard that Salt & Pepa run a beauty salon. I want an appointment, but I am sorry that they aren’t rapping these days, because they were the start of the female perspective in hip hop. Their power was undeniable. As well as JJ Fad. You heard right. JJ Fad were Supasonic. Icons perhaps will be numerous someday, as we continue to pay homage to Tupac and Biggie, but there is history in rap that I did not see? What about Jam Master Jay?



I loved the VIBE awards. They did a wonderful job. I hope it becomes a wildly successful event that I get invited to every year. There was just so little time to say what we need to say, that is the only criticism I have. We are still talking though, rapping though, keepin’ it real though. I yelled at the audience who had not expected me to be there at all and said “Hip hop is not just music. Hip hop is life. Hip hop is a gift from God. Hip hop is the be all end all of all y’all!!!!!!!!!!!”



And they agreed.



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More Letters III

Sunday, November 23rd, 2003

Note: The author of Letter #1 in the entry from 11/20/2003 responded and the discussion continues.



> Margaret, (Got it right this time)



Thank you. I was just pulling your leg!



> I’m glad to see we have some common
> ground in all this. You asked why, if
> Biblical mandates are so important,
> people don’t follow them. That’s a
> loaded question!



I know. It makes me want to load a gun sometimes! :)



> I think many so called Christians
> should ask themselves that question.
> (Yes I have asked myself. If you want
> to know my answer, let me know and
> I’ll tell you about it.)



You go girl!



> First of all, God is the one who created
> us and knows what is best for us. I think
> you would agree to this at least in part
> since you indicated you have a belief in God.



Yes, and we are His children. I was raised in the church, but I also have spent time in the ghetto, and then was adopted by a wonderful frolicking group of gay men, so being poor had its advantages, as we relied on God a lot, and we relied on each other maybe more, and we all acknowledged ourselves as part of God’s family. I even learned all the words to “We are family” by Sister Sledge!



> Secondly, if God knows what is best for us,
> He would somehow let us know what that is.
> I believe that “somehow” is the Bible.



That is great. Many use the Bible as their guide to living. I don’t find anything wrong with that. But being a ‘fisher of men’ does not include creating laws that would ban others from loving each other. Some people just fish for men in a different way.



> You said you define what is sacred from
> the truth. Where do you find your truth?



From my love of God, from the radio, from books, from people like you, from the lessons found in every rock and tree on earth.



> In mankind who has proven himself through
> many centuries/millenniums to be extremely
> unreliable?



You are so right about that. Guys can be really like so unreliable.



> I would rather find truth in a more
> reliable source.



My sources are pretty good, as I have a satellite dish, which they didn’t have in Babylon, or Sodom and Gomorrah – actually, Sodom, I heard, had basic cable, but that was it.



> Now, why don’t people follow the manual
> for living God gave us? One simple reason,
> they choose to do what they want to do
> and disregard the rest. The first sin recorded
> is one of selfishness.



I don’t know why they don’t follow God’s manual for living, but there are lots and lots of manuals to help us along. I don’t judge those who might use the manual that came with the Saturn they just purchased, or the manual that shows us how to program the VCR. Haven’t they heard of Tivo? The ignorance is staggering. It breaks my heart that some are deprived of Tivo. I pray for them.



Selfishness can also be manifesting itself in getting up in other people’s business.



Live and let live. If you start to try to control others in how they live, because you want them to live a certain way, then that is selfish. I am selfish in that I would like all people to understand that Tivo is sacred, but I will not judge them if they do not want it. Tivo is a choice.



> I found other common ground in your reply.
> You said that, “gays and lesbians [are] treated
> as second class citizens . . .” I believe that
> more often than not you are correct.



That is very kind of you.



> I do not look down on the person who is gay
> or lesbian. They were created by God as I
> was.



You are a true believer, and you are loving your neighbor, even if he might be gay, and perhaps you covet his landscaping, but you love him all the same. How can we finally get along if we just all saw as you and I do, that we are all created by God? Thanks a bunch for not looking down on us!



> I merely feel that their behavior is not
> in harmony with God’s manual for life, the
> Bible. They still deserve all the love and
> human compassion due any other person.



I also feel that the manuals can sometimes misguide us. The manual to my car suggests that I get my oil changed every 3,000 miles, which I feel is not in harmony with my lifestyle, but I understand that the manual is correct, and my choice not to accept that oil change, or to change all the fluids in my car, is selfish.



That is beautiful that you think we all deserve love and human compassion. Here is our common ground.



> I have a question however about the rest of the
> quotation in the previous paragraph. The
> remainder of the statement refers to this nation
> being built on religious freedom.



Yes. The Pilgrims came because they were persecuted
for worshipping God. They searched for a land that would give them the freedom to do so, and they found it. Then they gave the people here smallpox blankets, scalped them, killed them by the millions, were compensated by the government if they brought body parts in as proof. The government would pay fifty cents for a native American scalp and five dollars for a whole head! However, they did initially come here to create a nation that would have freedom of religion.



> Are you saying that homosexuality is
> a religion and that its followers should
> be allowed to practice it? (I’ll be waiting
> for your reply.)



Some people worship cock. I am guilty of that. But cock is really Godlike, as is the vagina, depending on my mood. I am bi-spiritual.



Yes, it is a religion for some. For others, it is a way of loving, a way to make a family, a way to live in a world that is so lonely we cannot bear to face it alone. That some bigots/Pharisees/homophobes cast them out of the temple, claim that they are not worthy of the right to live as they do, love as they do, to me goes against the word of the Lord, far more than homosexuality. Hatred is a great sin. Love is not a sin at all. Love conquers hate in all battles. Love is stronger. Love is mighty. Love is God. And we have God on our side.



> If you will read some of the writings
> of the founding fathers of our nation,
> you will see that they came to this land
> so they could be free to worship “God”,
> not “Gods”, as they felt convicted in
> their hearts. Is homosexuality worship
> of God?



They also all kept slaves.



But also, God has many names, and He is worshipped in many ways. Homosexuality is worship of God, because it is the acknowledgement of love. God is love, homosexuality is love, and so then by proxy, God is gay.



> I don’t think that homosexuality is either
> worship or religion.



Oh sir, then you are really missing out!



> I sincerly hope, however, that the
> people of those religions will accept
> homosexuals into their churches.



I do too. More common ground.



> The sin of homosexuality is no
> worse than say, the sin of adultery,
> or any other sin for that matter.



But homosexuality is not a sin. It isn’t one of the Ten Commandments. There is not “Thou shalt not be a fag.” It isn’t one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Homosexuality is love. God is love. God made homosexuality so that we would have variety in our lovely world, where we all love each other, or at least are meant to.



> By the way, I didn’t think it would
> be challenging for you to read. But
> I was glad to see you read
> part of Genesis.



It is really kind of boring, but I was just kidding. I know you know that I know how to read! :)



> As for the pie, we have been eating,
> gorging on, apple pie (figuratively)
> for too long. And yes I’ve had my slices.



I see that you are a thoughtful Christian, and you believe that certain things are meant to be according to the Bible. You and I only differ in that you would wish to control how other people live and love. I do not wish to control. I do not wish to rule the realm of love. That is God’s job. You believe that you must work to establish that homosexuality is against God. I believe that God accepts and loves homosexuality. We are really very similar, just coming from a different angle.



> I was glad to see that you put much
> thought into what you say. That speaks
> well of you.



Thinking is FUN! Yayy. Thought! Let’s hear it for brains!!!



> I was most encouraged to hear you
> say we should love each other. You
> are correct also that everyone is
> welcome in the true house of God.



I am glad for that, and you and I are going to kick back in God’s crib one day.



> If you are ever in Mobile, Alabama
> I would love to have you visit my
> church. I do think that God asks more
> of us than just to love Him. He said
> that if we love him we will do as he
> has instructed us.



I will – and thank you for this invitation. We can resume this friendly discussion over donuts. I love French crullers. What is your favorite donut?



> In summary, I was glad to see that
> we have more in common than I
> originally thought. Hope I didn’t wear
> you out with all this reading! (Just joking!)
> God Bless.
> VV
> Mobile, Alabama



Best,
Margaret Cho



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More Letters II

Saturday, November 22nd, 2003

> Margaret, I just watched you on MSNBC and
> heard your argument on homosexuality. To
> be honest, I have heard of you and I know
> you are a celebrity, but I am not familiar
> with your career or the person you are.
> After hearing your argument tonight, I
> wanted to write you, because even though
> I don’t know you, I care about you.



Why thank you. I can say that I don’t know you and I care about you too!



> I will be honest,



You do love to be honest don’t you!



> I didn’t agree with the things you had to say,
> but that is not the point. This isn’t a hate letter,
> I promise.



I know. It is a love letter.



> You said you were a christian, and that you
> read the Bible.. but after hearing you, I
> really question the validity of that statement.



Why? I read the Bible. It is a great big book full of information about events that occurred a long time ago, and some of it is super boring, and some of it is nice, and some of it is bizarre.



I read it. Did you need me to take a quiz?



> I just want you to know that YES, God
> does Love you…



I am already aware of that, and you know, right back atcha!



> and YES he wants you to one day be in heaven,



I will see you there too. Maybe we can be roommates. We could possibly share a meal in eternity, I am pretty sure they have a cafeteria.



> Margaret, homosexuality is a sin no matter |
> how you put it.



Even if you put it in your ass? What about if you put it in your cunt? What if before you put it in, you say “In Jesus’ name…”?



> God loves you, and he loves everyone
> who is homosexual, but he hates the sin.



Is it that he doesn’t like the way that homosexuality is considered a sin? Is it that God would rather we love than hate? Is it that God would ask that we are tolerant and loving towards others, rather than calling them sinners? How do you know he hates the sin? Did he tell you? Because he told me something completely different. I think you need to get your story straight. Pun totally intended.



> The Lord created us in His image, and he
> placed inside each of us, a natural desire
> for the opposite sex.



Really? Why? Then why does homosexuality exist? I think that God gave us the capacity to love. Who we decide to love is up to us, and God is accepting of all that. God loves it when we love. It makes things easier for Him.



> I know deep down, you are probably getting
> angry reading that.



No, I am angry right on the surface. I am seething on the top of my head, right on the very top. Not deep down at all.



> Keep in mind, I haven’t offended you in any
> way, I care for you, and I know God loves
> you, but he doesn’t love the sin that is in your
> life.



But I don’t have any sin in my life. I am not offended by the things you have said to me. I care for you too! I am just offended by your blindness and stupidity. I am offended that God had to make you so darn dumb. God loves you, but He just doesn’t think you have the smarts. Sorry, I shouldn’t tell tales out of school. But you are really idiotic, which isn’t your fault. It’s God’s. I am going to be mad at Him for that. You don’t deserve to be such a dummy. You are nice.



> Somewhere in your past, Satan has placed a “lie”
> that has consumed you..



Really? Do tell…



> Now wait, be patient with me, and let me explain..



Please, hurry. I cannot wait. You are keeping me on tenterhooks!



> There is a difference between people who say
> they are christian, and those who actually live
> their lives to serve God.



What is that? Do Christians go to church on Sunday, give a dollar in the collection basket, have a donut in the social hall, and leave, not coming back until the next Sunday. Do those who serve God learn acoustic guitar and sing songs while sitting on the grass, all the while judging other people’s behavior as right or wrong because since they know how to strum a B flat?



> There is going to come a time soon, when
> only those who serve God with ALL their heart,
> will [not] be persecuted,



When? Do you know when? Is there a timetable? Will there be an ad in the paper? I am really curious about it. I want to make sure to pack a lunch.



> because as you know, as it says in the bible, we
> are living in the “last days”..



We are? I had no idea that these were the last days. Then is it true that I really don’t need to worry about paying my mortgage? Should I just forgo buying Christmas presents? Are the last days going to fall on the end of the month, or are they going to be randomly during the week? I would like to plan my work schedule accordingly.



> Did you know that every prophetic word that
> was given in the Bible has been fulfilled?



Wow. That is super cool. Every bit of it? Even the part about immaculate conception and there being no way that Mary could have fucked some dude and lied about it and just told all these people he was the son of God because she just was so embarrassed? Wow. So God like totally got it on with Mary? Does God have a big one? I bet it was hot.



> It baffles scholars,



It must. It baffles me.



> and what many do not even realize is that
> the time we are living in now, it is being
> fulfilled. (Read Matthew 24.)



So like Matthew 24 is really what should replace the media, news outlets, CNN, MSNBC, Vanity Fair, The New York Times? Wow. I could really save on my cable and subscription bills.



> But what I want you to know, is that God
> is a HOLY God.



I know that. I am sure that He is so holy. I love that he is holy like that. It is rad.



> He cannot stand the presence of sin. If
> there was even a drop of “sin” in heaven,
> it wouldn’t even be heaven.



Well, that is kind of anal isn’t it? I mean really. There is always going to be some sin. It is like dust. You just cannot get away from it, and the more you clean, the more you make. It just makes me crazy!



> He sees all things and he is everywhere,
> but when we allow for sin to creep into our
> hearts, because God is a HOLY God, he
> cannot stay in our hearts. To be Holy, is to
> be pure.



God is really a neat freak. I think that He must be obsessive compulsive. But who could blame Him? If you had to be everywhere and see everything and then be holy and be unable to stay anywhere because there is so much sin around, that would drive anyone to distraction. Purity is the answer. You know, Ivory soap is 99 and 44/100ths pure. That is close, but I guess, it has to be 100%.



> You said that being gay was about love.
> I also disagree with you here. Love does
> not mean anything, until you truly
> experience God’s love.



SO He does have a big one. God has the biggest cock. I mean it makes sense. On the seventh day – he didn’t rest. He got off. Why not? He created the world in a week. He deserves a blow job. He’s God!



> It does not compare to any love you feel.
> God’s love isnt’ even about “feelings”..
> feelings only mean that your flesh is
> loving it..



Right on. I want God’s big huge cock. That would be rad. Fuck feelings. We want God’s jiz. He is hot and holy. I love God. God rules.



> When 2 God is Spirit and His love changes
> your spirit. It lets you have peace in your
> heart, it gives you life. And when his Holy
> Spirit dwells inside you, believe it or not,
> you begin to see how Satan has decieved
> the world. Your heart goes out to people
> you don’t even know..just like I am doing
> now.



I know. You are so nice. God bless you. I hope you get to have God’s big holy cock, just like everyone should. It rocks. God’s cock rocks the cocks off everybody. Hooray for God’s big dick. Hip hip hooray. Satan went and told everyone God had a small dick, what a deceiver of the world. Everyone needs to know about God’s fat cock.



> Have you ever wept your heart out to the
> Lord?



Of course. God and I are really close, and He is always there for me. I just didn’t know that I could fuck Him. He never brought it up, and I just thought maybe He didn’t like me that way, but I guess it is just that He’s gay.



> Have you ever told him to show you
> if there was any sin in your heart?



No, but I am going to ask Him to show me His big cock.



> Have you ever looked at your life, and
> questioned God, “God, what have I done
> for you?”…



Yes, and He said I did lots of good things for Him, He always laughs at my jokes, and He says that I am here on earth to make people happy and to let all people understand that God’s love is for everyone, and that gay, straight, bisexual, transsexual – all of everyone who loves, who is loving, who is a lover and not a fighter is going to go to heaven. Because God is love. He is love with a big fat cock to show for it.



> Let me tell you, when this life is over, and
> when you face God, he is going to ask you
> the exact same thing.



I know, and He will say the same thing back to me. God totally loves me, like ADORES me. He tells me I am one of His favorites. He really is into me.



> He won’t care about who you are to other
> people, your title, or your profession. When
> God knows your name, he is going to show
> you everything you have ever done, and he
> is going to show you how seperated you were
> from Him.



And then we are going to fuck.



Finally.



> That is why a true believer, is sold out
> for Jesus, because we know that nothing
> else is more important in this world.
> You will live and die, but to live forever
> with a glorious King means more than to
> live in a world full of hurt, pain, deception
> and most of all, SIN.



Yes, and to live in heaven with Him and His cock, that is beautiful. We all get some of God’s love. For lesbians, then God will have the most rocking vagina. God is going to be there for all of our desires, loves, hopes, dreams and holes.



God rules. He is the King. The Queen. The Trannie. The Dyke. The Fag. He made us in His image, and he made all of us in His image, so we are all loved by Him, will all get love from Him, and it doesn’t matter what you think, because He loves you, even though you are a fucking dipshit. You are a nice dipshit, but you are a dipshit all the same. But I love you. And so does God.



> Margaret, I write this to you and honestly
> ask you to question your own heart. If Jesus
> were here at this moment and he was looking
> into your thoughts and into your heart’s
> secret desires, do you think he would be
> pleased?



Yes. And He would be asking me to wash His feet with my hair, and I will, because I am kinky like that. Jesus is a player, and He would be pleased with me. Trust me. I aim to please.



> Remember he is holy. He loves you, and
> he wants you to come to Him and he wants
> to change the condition of your soul.



I love the fact that Jesus wants me to come, because a lot of people don’t care if you get off or not. Jesus is a hot lay and a considerate fuckbuddy.



> Don’t waste time.



No I won’t. Thank you.



> Ask him to show you how. God is not
> a dead God.. He lives and he speaks
> to whoever comes to Him with a humble
> heart.



I know. We talk a lot. He is so cool. God is the best. He is not dead. He is very much alive, rockin’ the holy cock into eternity.



> In Jesus name, I pray that God break
> the chains over your soul.



Oh, but the chains make it really fun. Can’t we keep the chains, just for now…. please Father? Pretty please? MMMmmmmm…



> You have caused many thousand upon
> thousands to laugh. I pray that God one
> day touch you in such a way, that he
> cause you to laugh uncontrollably and
> cry out tears of joy.



not to mention orgasm….



God wants us to love, fuck, cuddle after, no matter who we do it with. If it is mutual, if it is consensual, if it is between adults, it is right and holy. Nothing is holier than love.



I love you. Thank you for your words.



Best,
Margaret Cho



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More Letters to Margaret

Thursday, November 20th, 2003

Note: In the past two days, Margaret debated Jerry Falwell on MSNBC and read a piece on NPR’s Morning Edition both on the issue of Gay marriage. She received and responded to many letters. We’ve chosen the following two for today’s entry.



Letter #1
Subject: Morning Edition Commentary



>Dear Morning Edition,



Please, call me Margaret.



> I would like to respond to your commentary on
> Morning Edition, aired November 19th. You spoke of
> the sanctity of marriage and gave examples of
> marriages performed by Elvis impersonators,
> receptions in graveyards, herses used for
> transporting the wedding party, and others. These
> examples were used to “prove” there is no sanctity
> in marriage.



Yes, it is true. There is no sanctity in marriage, in that ‘sanctity’ is relative and self defined. You define what sacred is fron the Bible. I define what is sacred from the truth. We both are right really, we just see things from a different point of view. You choose to live your life according to writings that are thousands of years old, which was told to the authors mostly second hand, in that the experiences therein were recorded by witnesses, rather than the participants, so who knows what kind of game of ‘telephone’ that may have caused, and if you really want to go there, they were written by men wearing sandals and long muslin dresses. I choose to live my life with an eye on the media, the right to question all authority, and the independence to make decisions based on what I believe is fair.



> The sanctity of marriage is not derived from the
> common (or not so common) practices of society but
> from Biblical mandates.



If the Biblical mandates you say are so important to society, why are they not practiced to the fullest extent of the evangelical law? Why do we not pass an amendment to cease masturbation? The Onan Initiative, to wipe out any chance that man’s seed might be spilled on the ground. Why is shellfish eaten willy nilly, as if the Bible didn’t clearly outline the dangers of it? What has happened to the world when we are unable to uphold these Biblical values. How right you are. These mandates must be upheld if we are to ban same sex relations. Let no seed be spilled and death to all who eat shrimp.



> To assume that man’s actions can remove the
> sanctity from marriage is faulty logic. It would
> be similar to saying that since I don’t turn on
> the same light everyone else does, that light
> does not exist. This is a ridiculous conclusion!



I am apologetic here, as I do not understand your faulty logic in the aforementioned statement. What does light have to do with it? How many bigots does it take to screw in a light bulb? Do you know? I have no idea.



> You might say that your comments are merely
> comedy.



No. They are truth, and absolutely correct. The statements made were good natured but they speak to the deeper issue of gays and lesbians being treated as second class citizens in a nation built on the foundation of religious freedom. The land we forged exists only because we sought our own God and the right to have our own God, and basically, for everyone to have their own God, as God has many names. Your God is not the only God out there. What you are saying denies the entire reason America exists in the first place, religious freedom. You say same sex union is against the Bible, not thinking for a moment that there are other religions that have no connection with your particular beliefs, because you are not allowing freedom of religion to those who do not follow your way of worship. Dude. You are being like so, un-American.



> It is apparent that your beliefs about marriage are
> presented in your comedy. Your opinions as stated
> in your commentary, whether intended as comedy or
> not, have an influence on the listeners.



Thank God for that. I prayed for that to happen and He listened. Prayer works! I am one of God’s favorites, incidentally.



> This influence should be carefully used and
> accompanied by thoughtful consideration of
> the truth of the content that is presented.



It was. It is. I am responsible and careful and thoughtful and truthful and thank you for recognizing that. So sweet of you.



> I encourage you to rethink your position on the
> sanctity of marriage and same sex marriage, which
> are inseparable issues.



I encourage you to let others live and love as they would wish. I encourage you to understand that all are welcome in the true house of God. I encourage you to love, above all, love. Remember that is all God asks us to do.



> I challenge you to read the first two chapters
> of Genesis as it relates to marriage of a man
> and a woman. – VCV



Ohhh, a challenge. When did it become challenging to read? Did you think that it might have been difficult for me? Well, I got through it, challenging as it was, all those words and everything, but I did, and if we are all sinners because Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, frankly, she should have eaten more. Possibly baked a pie. You would have been offered a big slice.



Best,
Margaret Cho



Letter #2
Subject: Tonight’s “Abram’s Report” on MSNBC



> Homosexuality is perversion.



That is the opinion of a few people, which makes me sad that they feel they must control love, own love. Love is love. Love is not perversion.



> All of us are probably born with different
> susceptibilities to different sins.



Like you, to intolerance, ignorance and bigotry, but I don’t blame you at all for that. You were born that way. I choose to love you all the same, really. I mean it.



> But we still have a choice.



Yes. To choose to be ourselves or to live a lie.



> If I became an alcoholic and it was shown that I had
> genetic predisposition toward it, it does not absolve
> me from responsiblity for my actions.



True, but alcoholism is not a reasonable comparison to homosexuality. Alcoholism is a disease. The way that people use it to destroy themselves is sad and unfortunate. It can be overcome, by choice. Homosexuality is not a disease. People do not drive while gay and kill pedestrians. You cannot swallow enough cum in the world to poison your system. To equate homosexuality with alcoholism is to equate heterosexuality with cancer.



> Homosexuality is a choice.



Do you know very very many gays and lesbians? Are you friends with transexual, transgender and bisexual people? Do you ever have them over to watch the Emmys or football games and assign different dishes to people – like this drag queen brings soda, this Male to Female post operative transexual to bring KC Masterpiece Barbecue Potato Chips? If you did, then you would see, through friendship and compassion that homosexuality is really NOT A FUCKING CHOICE. Excuse my language. But even if they do decide to choose, they choose living a miserable, false identity which helps no one, for no one will truly know them and they will be ashamed to exist because they are not allowed to be naturally who they are. They deny themselves THEMSELVES, as opposed to making the choice to be gay, and therefore, true to themselves and true to how God made them.



> In many people it seems to develop so slowly
> that they weren’t aware that they were making
> a choice over years of growing up that led to it.



So it develops slowly like a degenerative disease, reaching chronic stages when feather boas and leather chaps become involved? How ridiculous. You are such a silly thing, aren’t you? I think you are so quaint in your prejudice and stupidity. Really, it’s adorable.



> And just as they made a choice gradually to
> embrace it, they can also make the choice to
> leave it behind, go cold turkey or whatever
> you want to call it.



Cold turkey. Hm. Is there a patch that would slowly release gayness into your system until you are no longer reliant on it? Like quitting smoking. Cock gum?



> There is zero scientific research to prove that
> homosexuality is beyond our control. Any
> pseudoscience that originally received praise
> in the press was later showed to be completely
> unscientific when it was reviewed by peers
> in the scientific community.



> I suggest the above article; it’s well written
> while sensitive to everyone’s feelings.
> (link deleted)
> Regards,
> RB



Thanks for the link. I really don’t give a shit about science in this matter. And I know lots of scientists who are gay! And they enjoy it! Labcoats are fun to wear!



I am sensitive to your feelings of hatred and self righteous idiocy, and I applaud you for making your stupid stand. God bless you, and all the people that you love, and all the people that love you, and all the people that think the way they do, and all the judgmental and angry homophobes (whom I honestly believe are gay themselves, for I do believe the lady doth protest too much). I love you, for God welcomes all in the true house of the Lord. May Jesus make you willing to be tolerant of others, and may we all find it within ourselves to be tolerant of you, although frankly, you do not deserve it.



Best,
Margaret Cho



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