Comments on: Scarlet Letter E

By: Tattoo For Girl

Tattoo For Girl — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 10:46:17 +0000

Hiya : )
Why do men and women (society generally) still pre-judge people with body art. girls especially?
I am a twenty six year old F, have 11 tattoos, lots of which cannot be spotted on my day to day travels. 5 – 6 during the warm months are pretty much constantly on display. I do not strive for attention and I have a loving boyfriend Without TATTOOS .I get the impression that many people think that tattooed persons are blind, once we get stared at, even when we return a glance people continue staring. When will society improve?

By: GC

GC — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 19:04:22 +0000

Margaret: Please help those in the SF community who are trying to help take care of those bodies (queer/trans/poor/women) that need to be taken care of the most:

http://lyon-martin.org/aboutUs.php

We need women like yourself to help those who don’t usually even believe their bodies are worthy, political, and valuable in and of themselves. Please, please help.

By: hannah

hannah — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 02:47:14 +0000

Well that was real.
Glad I tuned in today. You’re a great and funny person, you know that?

By: Linda Mizejewski

Linda Mizejewski — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 16:50:50 +0000

As it turns out, I’m in the process of writing a chapter about Margaret Cho in a book about women comics, and I’m working on the ways “I’m the One that I Want” reads as a recovery story as well as a manifesto. So I was touched and stunned to find this entry, posted the very day I was writing about this topic. It’s a startling and much-needed reminder about how our bodies get “marked.” That final metaphor is a killer!

By: Baseball Finder Blog

Baseball Finder Blog — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:40:52 +0000

Under Armour Adult Scarlet…

[...] ow I was treated. I was appalled every day by the memories, and the idea that a [...]…

By: janie jane

janie jane — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:44:44 +0000

Thanks for sharing. Thats was very personal and actually touching. You rock sista!

By: Sharon

Sharon — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:00:55 +0000

This is beautifully written. Let’s swap that E for an A. For awesome.

By: Serena

Serena — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 23:34:13 +0000

This sentiment resonates deeply with me. I grew up with a cold, narcissistic mother but of course did not recognize it at the time. All I knew was that, from as young as I can remember, I did not see her at all as a person to look to for warmth, comfort, encouragement, love, or even basic kindness.

She relied on sarcasm as a daily tool to cut me with… otherwise I was simply off her radar.

It was only when I grew up and had children of my own, that I began to fully understood the legacy of my upbringing. When dealing with my own children, flashbacks to my own childhood would remind me of how I was spoken to and how I was treated. I was appalled every day by the memories, and the idea that a mother could treat her own children that way.

Luckily, it made me very focused on how NOT to treat my own children… just avoid doing what my mother did, and I would usually get it right.

It requires a daily struggle on my part not to let the years of mistreatment growing up to affect my life now, decades later.

By: Bethany

Bethany — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 20:37:30 +0000

As a soon-to-be mom reading something like this has me a bit worried about how I will raise my kids to deal with food. I’ve also had a bad relationship with food stemming from childhood. Mine was like the European family that you visited. I was always encouraged to eat eat eat! That is, until I hit puberty. Then I was too fat to enjoy food anymore.
I’ve come a long way, but I worry that by trying to be more conscientious about being healthy I will instill the paranoia into my own kids. It’s hard to decide how to handle it if you do see your kids following your obese footsteps. Obviously the mother you mentioned handled her concern poorly.

Thank you for sharing your story.

By: StacyM

StacyM — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 19:46:04 +0000

Miss Margaret,

I have been a fan of many years and this is a subject I know all too well. The little things that parents (or other adults) say to kids that twist their personal perceptions.

I was a fat kid, and now I am a fat adult. I can remember being around 6 years old and my mother taking me with her to our church pastor’s home to deliver something and they were just sitting down to a fried chicken dinner. The food smelled so good, and our own dinner had been something I had not cared for but was forced to eat. When the pastor’s wife asked if I would like something, I told you that I would, but my mother said “No.” and as soon as we were out the door I was railed at as having embarrassed her. It was one of many instances that taught me to equate the desire for food with “shame”.

Yet, I was also rewarded with food. For special days (start of school, birthdays, etc.) we would awaken to the smell of a HUGE breakfast being prepared with ham (or sausage) and bacon, homemade biscuits, grits, eggs, potatoes, and my grandmother’s special homemade chocolate sauce for the biscuits. Each week we received our “allowance” as my mother did the weekly shopping by being told to that we had “$X to spend”. Of course, we were limited by what was at the grocery store.

And later, in junior high, when I began to experience more bullying and teasing about my weight, I was found one night in my bed crying over the dread of facing another day of the name-calling. My mother came in and questioned my crying and when I told her what was wrong, she simply said that I had to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Even if I was hurt or saddened by what someone said to me, I should smile and be jolly, because people only like being around fat people who are jolly.

It took me years to break free of these “lessons”. I’m not happy with my weight, but I own it. I will change it as I am able and ready, and I own that. All I need from those around me is to look at me, and see a WHOLE person. Luckily, I have a number of people who do just that.