A young friend of mine died today. I am feeling very sad and quiet. Here is a letter I wrote to him a few weeks ago.
I know you are dying, and I am sorry for that, and you are young, just barely getting started living but life is unfair always, this is what I know, being some years older than you, life is very unfair. But what is fair, is that we will all die, we will all join you soon, and where you are going is infinitely better, and in the end, we will all be glad that you got there first so that when we all arrive you can show us where everything is, especially the pool and stuff.
Where you are going they won’t have to put those big needles in your chest and you won’t have to be in these hospitals and your hair will be great all the time. Every day in heaven is a phenomenal hair day.
I know what hurts is that we will miss you. I cannot even imagine what it will be like for your family, your friends. All of us here. I can’t imagine. they will be sad and missing you more than words can express so even though I know you will be happy and good and ok and better than fine, I feel bad for all of us. Your presence is irreplaceable and to live without you, well that’s too much to bear. But you, you will be great. amazing. Better than ever. Better than ever.
I hope that dying isn’t scary, and that you go into the light and you don’t get lost in there and that it’s all easy. I hope that you don’t have to get a connecting flight and that you can get direct into heaven. I am contacting all the dead people I know to come and get you. They will have a sign with your name and they will hug you and love you and welcome you and you will already have a lot of friends so it won’t be like the first day of school or anything. There will be lots of people you can sit with in the cafeteria.
I wish we could have spent more time together on earth, but I will be seeing you soon anyway. You can make me ice cream in all kinds of flavors and it’ll be heaven and so even though it does have carbs we can eat as much as we like. You can show me more about cooking and we can laugh and have fun and I look forward to then.Goodbye for now. Just for a little while. Goodbye you sweet beautiful boy. I love you. m