Believe it or not, people with disabilities can and do lead productive and a happy lives. And even more shocking is that their parents may even sometimes get joy out of raising such children.

No-one has the right to judge the quality of another person’s life based simply on things like their cognitive or physical abilities, skin colour, weight, or sexual orientation. I would have that someone like Cho, who is obviously a great defender of gay rights and equality, would have known better than to make a comment like she did against another minority group. In the words of the gay advocate Harvey Milk “Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us’es, the us’es will give up.”

Think about it.

“Retard” is widely used as a derogatory slur against not only people with intellectual disabilities, but also those with other types of disabilities. It is because of this that the term is recognised as offensive by the international community of mental health professionals, and “Mental Retardation” has not been used in countries other than the USA as an official diagnosis for a number of years (‘intellectual disability’ has replaced it). Indeed, it is being removed from the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders in 2012 in the USA, to be replaced with “Intellectual Disability”.

Take a look at the bigger picture before you defend the use of offensive language that only serves to marginalise others. Just because some things actually exist in the world (such as the official diagnosis of retardation in the USA) does not actually automatically make them just and correct.

Please, educate yourself on the correct, and current terminology – which is using PEOPLE FIRST language. You probably wouldn’t want to be referred to as that gay, Margaret. You are Margaret, who happens to be a lesbian. Your identity is so much more than just your sexuality. Just as my child is so much more than just Down syndrome. You say “the individual has…Autism, Down syndrome, Muscular Dystrophy, etc.”

As your apology is nice, I strongly urge you to take further actions to undo your damage. Like, connect with the following organization: http://www.r-word.org Or even connect with the Council for Exceptional Children and do something good for them. You can even give money – a good chunk of it – to support any research on disability. And check out my blog about having a child with a disability: http://www.extra-ordinaryfriends.blogspot.com/ There is so much joy that BOTH my kids bring. It doesn’t take a special person to become a mother of a child with a disability, but a special woman is often made from the birth of such a child.

I hope, if you do choose to have a child, that you do have a healthy child. But if, by some chance that doesn’t happen, I also hope you embrace the beauty and joy in that child. And in ALL children, and adults, with special needs.

You are entitled to your opinions. It is not your thoughts on living life with a special needs child that is offensive, its the words you use to express your thoughts.

Someone who works so hard for equal rights and acceptance should know that when you use a derogatory term people get hurt. You don’t have to know a person with special needs to know that that kind hate speech is unacceptable.