Leap of Faith
Just a brief thought today. It has been a turbulent week for me for many reasons. I have illuminated some of it for you in the writings here. I am very grateful for those who allow me the honor of being read. It is something I cannot even express in words - I love you, and thank you for making me feel like I make a difference, that I have a voice. Being seen and not heard was the entire philosophy under which I was raised, but actually I was never seen or heard. You hearing me and seeing me gives me myself. Thanks for that. Even if you disagree with what I say, I appreciate it. I love you. All y’all.
I am making presents for my friends and so my hand aches from the glue gun. I run my own sweatshop here and I am the only employee. I have to do my own cavity search, sexually harass, underpay and exploit myself. It is a big drag. But it gives me some time to think about the issues brought up in the last few entries.
What I want to say today is that we need a leap of faith.
Take a leap of faith with rap music. Even though it might say things that piss you off, much of it has that same anger that you could share if you didn’t let the words get in the way.
Take a leap of faith that that same rap cd doesn’t need the extra security cartridge on it because you know in your heart that the person who is a fan of the artist is going to want to support them and give them money.
Take a leap of faith that even though he looks like a thug, he is not necessarily a thug. Take a leap of faith that even if he is a thug, look at the world we live in and see that sometimes, being a thug is his only option. It is either that or die.
Take a leap of faith that if you are a thug, you may feel backed and painted into a corner, but playa, you can step out of it. Mess the paint up. There are miracles that happen every day, asked for and unasked for, deserved and undeserved. Thug life is hard and unfair and God is on your side. This injustice comes from way back. To reject what history has forced on you and reinforces every day with the images and icons that bombard you, makes you the biggest gangsta there is. Take a leap of faith that there is going to be love out there for you and that maybe you could love some more too. Take a leap of faith that there is no difference between you and what you call a ‘bitch ass faggot.’
Take a leap of faith that when that music fills you with rage because you will not be called a ‘bitch ass faggot,’ it is not a personalized attack, but a general outburst. The singer sings about the same pain you feel. Take a leap of faith that you don’t live so far apart. Take a leap of faith that you just might get along, be friends, laugh at the same jokes. That you both had your hearts broken, had your bodies broken because of who you are and the hatred that exists so unbearably sickeningly in this world.
Take a leap of faith and know that homosexuality doesn’t get you into hell.
Take a leap of faith that someone that doesn’t know you, don’t know nothing about you, don’t live in your world, but understands it, could love you.
Take a leap of faith that a couple that wants to get married so badly that they are fighting the government for that right are going to create a family filled with love that explodes with glitter and stars and will produce children who know love so well that they can teach the ones who don’t.
Take a leap of faith that if you have to fight for the right to party, be yourself, get married, walk down the street, not to be judged as a thief whenever you walk into a store with money in your pocket, live another fucking day - that you are fucking pissed off - and therefore, we are all the same. Take a leap, remembering that we are all the same, and we will catch you. Take a leap knowing that our suffering binds us together, tighter than anyone could imagine. What are you waiting for?
Jump.