99.9% Ignant
A friend told me about her friend’s ex-boyfriend’s grounds for dismissal, which were his odd prejudiced views and the odder ways they would be expressed. For example, “We cannot go see the fireworks display there on the Fourth of July because that place is 70% Mexican” and he was not kidding, that it was not an ironic twist on pie charts and race, that it was actually a 100% racist statement. made the relationship one of the dancing candle variety (one earlier discussed as the “Beauty and the Beast” phenomenon, when one partner is outrageously better than the other, so much so it leaves the outside observer to beg the question, “Where the dancing candle at?”). They had a very brief relationship, but the joke lives on, and spreads, as now we always measure things by percentages.
“That is 99.9% ignant!”
“I am 30% mad, 40% sad and 30% undecided.”
Why would you take a poll and be undecided? That is 100% ridiculous.
Assuming the worst, as we are so used to doing at here at margaretcho.com, we guessed that the ex-boyfriend meant that being 70% Mexican meant that there was a 70% chance of something Mexican occurring. That means many things to many people. To me it might be going to the end of the block and getting a mango with spicy pepper on it. To others, it is going to Olvera St. for Las Posadas to witness the lights and smells of Christmas, buying your family and friends trinkets and re-enacting Joseph and Mary looking for an Inn, which happens over nine consecutive days in December and brings a little Bethlehem to East L.A. You eat tamales and drink that champurrado, which is hot and chocolatey and about 100% Mexican. That is what the percentage of race means to me and I feel 100% good about it, and that is what is great about Los Angeles. It makes the experience of living in a culturally intense city where there are so many beautiful things outside my 30% realm of experience rich and lively and keeps me anchored here.
Koreatown is 100% Korean and the signage will tell you so as you drive down Wilshire, but to me, I have to say I feel about 50% at home there. Even though I may be ethnically 100% Korean, I don’t feel altogether correct in that summation.
Little India is in Artesia, which is about 5 city blocks that are 79% Indian, and there are lovely things to be had all over the place, from saris to curries to rocking gold jewelry slashed at 50% off the original price.
The American Family League - thinking themselves to be somehow related to the Justice League or wherever the superheroes used to congregate - had a poll out on the internet. They were trying to show that 99% of the populace were against gay marriage. This was forwarded to me many times over the last couple days. Here is the link. Who exactly did they think they would fool with this? There are three categories to pick from, which are one pro-same-sex marriage, one anti-same-sex marriage, and then one which was 99% bogus because it proposed civil unions with the same rights as marriage with the exception of name, which confused everyone and therefore became a non-pick. Early today, the polled so far had pumped themselves up humping their own leg because 90% or so of “All Americans” were against same sex marriage. By the time the link got sent to me, it was 44.7% against same sex marriage, and then the rest divided up by the wrong ass dot on the “civil unions with exception of name.” Don’t pick that one. Go to the site and fuck it up. I am 100% in favor of same sex marriage, 100% in favor of family, 100% in favor of equal rights for all people and 100% in favor of sticking it to the right wing when they try to do bullshit like this.