Faux Pas
Sometimes I have these etiquette dilemmas that are distressing and so specific, there is no Emily Post entry covering it.
A few months ago, I was having a very lavish dinner with a few potential business partners. It was at this swanky Hollywood restaurant, quite the scene, with all the Tara Reid wannabes like hothouse wallflowers decking the halls like boughs of holly. We were eating tiny portions of rare steak and seared tuna and Lilliputian mounds of caviar and there were big, bulbous glasses of white wine all around. There was lots of jovial conversation and getting to know ya storytelling, and one of the guests was in the middle of a juicy one, when a piece of nouvelle something flew out from between his teeth and landed in the very full glass of expensive wine of the person next to me.
I was shocked into silence as I watched that particle of gourmet cuisine float down into the depths of the amber liquid, like a Sea Monkey making its way to its floating kingdom, and I remained silent for several minutes. I wanted to say something, to the person unknowingly drinking the wine, but I was hesitant to offend the other guest, the Spitter, because I know for a fact that he has quite a temper and the dinner was going so well, at least up until that point.
Then, so much time had passed, as I remained rooted in my own confusion over what to do, that it was as if a statute of limitations had run out, and it would have been too awkward to bring it up. What could I say? “Excuse me. About thirty minutes ago, you spit a piece of food into this wine glass…” They’d probably yell at me for not mentioning it sooner. The person drinking the cloudy wine would probably want to sue someone. So I watched that wine glass, monitoring that particle of food until an hour later it was gone, and the glass was refilled, tabula rasa, but I held my secret, knowing the clean slate was merely an illusion, as most things are.
What should I have done? Much of the year has gone by, and yet I cannot release myself from this memory. Should I call the parties involved and let them know what happened? What would Jesus do? Probably just make more wine. What would you do?