My Dose of Crazy
Are you, like me, hopelessly attracted to crazy people? This is a problem I have struggled with most of my life. I don’t know why, but until recently, I have always had the most insane people around me. Maybe I attract them, because even though at times I can act crazy, I am generally the most calm and reserved person around. I try to keep my mind still, the silent surface of a peaceful pond – just waiting for some crazy to throw pebbles all over my shit. Crazy needs calm for context. But I am seeing now that it isn’t the crazy people wanting me. I want them! I just think crazies are more fun. More wild. More – well, crazy. They’re exciting. Relationships, without a sexual component, need more juice to keep me interested. That is why I am drawn to the insane like a moth to a flame.
It’s a problem, and it is something I am not willing to deal with anymore, no matter how thrilling – it’s just not worth it. I still have nightmares about old crazy friends stalking me, forcing me to go out to dinner or shopping at gunpoint. (”You better order that spinach and artichoke dip in a bread bowl – or else.” “Bitch that’s MY blouse!”)
My life now is refreshingly sane, quiet, lovely – but I still need my dose of crazy. That is why I love “The Bad Girls Club.” Oh my god these girls are out of control. It also proves that women are way tougher, meaner, stronger and crazier than men. I don’t think any man could survive in that house for more than a day. Women are so badass it is unreal. I am hoping for a celebrity version of “The Bad Girls Club.” That would be really amazing. Can’t you just picture it? Bjork, Foxy Brown, Amy Winehouse, Naomi Campbell – they would make some awesome Hyenas.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:48 pm
hey, i’m up for a roadtrip! but i think it would be better if they were forced to bunk with fans along the way.
January 31st, 2008 at 6:29 pm
YES. Last year, I was telling a couple of my saner friends that I somehow attract (and AM attracted to) the crazies. I love people that think differently. I’m actually quite normal. No mental issues, suburban, steady job, two kids, two cats, a husband. But I love the underdogs and people who don’t quite fit. I think it’s because I grew up, hard of hearing, wearing hearing aids and feeling like a complete outsider. The kids who embraced me in a school of cruel, evil children were also underdogs themselves. They were sometimes a LITTLE BIT NUTS too. So I love them for that.
Right now, I’m calmer. But the people I love and surround myself with are still “imperfect”. I love that though. I love imperfect, fractured people.
Oh, and with every relationship, friendships or otherwise, we always leave open the possibility of sexuality entering at some point. So, that makes life rather exciting to me. We’re pretty open like that.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Margaret, this is another post which resonates with me.
I’ll admit to having suffered clinical depression, but I pride myself on not being ‘annoying crazy’: the kind which freaks out people at bus shelters.
And yes, I attract the slightly odd (but essentially sweet) in droves. But I’m cool with it because these people need love.
The only real problem I had was with the lady who hated everything. She was also extremely funny, intelligent and she adored her cat (a big positive). We were great friends…. until she told me that she also hated my fiance.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:51 am
I think I befriend people who are a bit crazy because it allows me to be a bit crazy. I don’t like perfect people. Not only are they boring but the pressures of hanging out with someone perfect would make me go over the edge.
As I get older I learn that being that perfect, well mannered, well behaved woman isn’t me. There is something youthful about letting go and bring your crazy side out. It makes you more real, more human.
But really crazy people…well I don’t have a problem punching them in the face if I have to. Because really I don’t want to end up dead in an ally, becoming someone’s skin dress, lunch or cut into little pieces and dumped in a corn field.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Every guy that I have ever dated has been a nutjob. ( not in the way I like ) There have only been four- ( one of the stalked me on my job and spent the night on my front porch ) It’s kind of sad actually. I’ve stopped dating. Im’ afraid to get involved again.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
OMG, “Bad Girls Club” is sooo wrong. I love it. But all my friends hate me for watching it and I’m like “y’all, it’s sooo GOLD!”. Where else do you get a show in which participants are brought to a house under the vague premise of becoming a better “person” without anyone facilitating that progression? It’s so twisted! And I love all the serious one-on-one moments in which the girls analyze and apologize for actions and situations, but without any sincerity!
This show constantly challenges my ideas of morality and personal responsibility. It also causes me to live in constant state fear that I might run into one of these bad girlz in LA. They would so “pop off” on me.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Oh yeah.. Same situation. But the thing is, I’m not attracted to those people. They come to me, and insist on staying around. It’s freaky every time. I know that something in me or about me is magnetizing that kind of energy toward me, and I’ve been struggling to figure out what it is. I’ve had some people try to do some serious damage, and succeeded.