Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

When I Think of Tibet

Friday, March 28th, 2008

As the weeks go by and tensions and violence escalate in Tibet, it makes me more and more anxious. Tibet is a beautiful, mysterious country. I visited many years ago, and although there were always problems (I remember one incident when my travel party was delayed for several hours because of public executions!!) it was much calmer than it is now.

There isn’t enough air, which makes everyone who is just visiting a little high. To add to the trippy nature of the place, pretty much every site is religious. Even the graffiti is of different incarnations of Buddha – painted all over the sides of mountain rocks. If you felt sick, you were encouraged to meditate on the cool, indigo blue medicine Buddha, the deity whose color reminded me of the Milk of Magnesia bottle, whose image would soothe, coat and relieve as you pondered upon it. Tibet has the most challenging toilets in the world. I have been everywhere and I can attest to that! Hands down, Tibet is the number one worst place to go number 2.

But to counter that, Tibet has the best looking people in the world. They are Asian but with light eyes! Like green and blue! So everyone kind of looks like they are wearing contacts but they are not. I remember sitting in the courtyard of the Drepung monastery, watching all the gorgeously hot monks draped in their deep red robes, flinging their prayer beads at each other as they argued about philosophy while trying to steal looks at us at the same time. I know you aren’t supposed to hit on celibate people so I just sat on my hands the whole time and tried not to make eye contact for more than three seconds. Girl, it was hard!

I also loved the dog monastery, a special temple for wayward monks who have reincarnated into dogs. The grounds are covered in dogs of every size and shape and breed and hue, silently pondering the cycle of birth and rebirth. Squirming litters of puppies wriggle underneath their dog mothers and their distinguished elders nap in the patches of sun breaking through the clouds. There is no barking, no howling, no fighting, and miracles of miracles – no poo! – nothing but the quiet mediation of dogs and monks. You are allowed to feed the dogs small pieces of dough, and they actually wait in line! When I think of Tibet, I remember the politeness of the dogs, pulling back their dog lips and ever so gently taking the food from my hand with their open teeth, not wanting to bite my hand accidentally and then looking warmly into my eyes with a silent thanks. The thought of rioting and looting and blood in the streets there is too painful to comprehend.

This entry is cross-posted at The Huffington Post

A More Perfect Union

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

I think Barack Obama really delivered an awesome speech on race. He took a potentially very difficult situation with comments made by his pastor, and turned it all around into another amazing opportunity for him to shine, which makes me think he is a Jedi.

Reverend Wright

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

I think too much is being made about Barack Obama’s pastor, Rev. Wright’s controversial comments. Firstly, they were made by Rev. Wright, not Obama, and they are not all that inflammatory, as far as I can tell. When you have religious leaders regularly spreading hatred against homosexuals by falsely representing the Gospel, why then is someone demanding that America answer to its racist policies considered a big deal? I prefer Rev. Wright’s angry words to the homophobia I regularly witness on Sunday morning television. Also, Obama said that he was not aware of all the statements made by Rev. Wright, which I believe. I mean, who really listens in church? I don’t! It’s boring! That is why I don’t go!

High Class Hoes

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

This whole Spitzer scandal is amazing, but what I find the most incredible is how expensive the prostitutes were. Up to $31,000 a day! That rules! Talk about HIGH CLASS HOES!! That is some pricey pussy and I hope it was worth it. Damn! It must be lined with chinchilla and diamonds. (7 to be exact! Ow! Rough edges!) That is a solid platinum cunt. Like something you see in SKYMALL - you are not really paying for just the pussy, you are paying for shipping and insurance. That is really cool! I have much respect for hoes. I wish I had thought to charge. I was usually so fucked up back then, when I was spreading it for the masses, I would just say, “Oh – um. Uh, alright…”

I could have had a credit card machine! I am thinking maybe I should bill people now for it.

Because he’s black?

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

I am disappointed by Geraldine Ferraro. I always thought she was cool! That sucks that she thinks that the only reason Barack Obama is where he is today is because he’s black! It reminds me of when I started, comics were jealous of my early success, and they would say, “Oh, the only reason she’s gotten anywhere is because she is Korean.” Omg – as if!! Yeah, right. Because Hollywood has had such a long standing love affair with Korean comics!

Sexism is bad too – yes. That is a big problem as well, but it shouldn’t have to be a contest. Who gets oppressed more?! It all sucks. All I know is that people of color and women both have to work exponentially harder at everything in order to get ahead. To act as if color or gender is some kind of advantage in this extremely racist and sexist country is delusional. Racism exists, sexism exists – the people who are saying it doesn’t are in denial.

We’re Listening

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

This is appalling. And it isn’t some crazy backwoods religious nut. This is an elected official! This kind of hate speech is intolerable. I don’t know why people think there is some kind of homosexual agenda. I have been around the whole world of homosexuality for a long time now and I have yet to hear about an agenda. And what is this indoctrination she is talking about? I never got indoctrinated! I feel left out! Basically these are the insane busybodies who have been pissed off ever since “HEE HAW” was canceled. I wish they would just go back into the cornfield.

This is a lot worse than frequenting prostitutes. Somebody in Oklahoma really needs to resign.

Check out the Victory Fund, who put the video together. They are going to be in the lobby at some of the stops on my tour, so make sure you visit them!

It’s 3am!

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

It is 3am and the phone is ringing. Who do you want picking up the phone?

Well, if someone is calling me at 3am, then usually, they are looking for some ass. I don’t think that I will be picking it up, unless I am somehow craving ass at that particular hour, which I usually am not. I am more of a 3pm ass person than a 3am ass person, because I have to work. So whoever I vote for – I am hoping that person will not be looking for ass at 3am because that wouldn’t be so great for the country, with the exception of Bill Clinton who you know was looking for ass all the time (not that this would have anything to do with Hillary Clinton – really – she is a smart lady so I am sure at that hour she would be sleeping like any sensible Senator). Bill Clinton probably answered the ass phone at all hours but he still managed to get a lot of stuff done and be a good president. I would go so far as to say he was a good ass president.

Anyway, I don’t know about who’s gonna call you at 3am if it isn’t ass related.

That’s My Middle Name; Don’t Wear It Out

Friday, February 29th, 2008

The bitch is back and I am not talking about Elton John. I just saw Karl “The Bitch” Rove on FOX warning conservatives not to harp on Barack Obama’s middle name because it perpetuates the widespread (and accurate) assumption that conservatives are bigoted. I think that Bill Cunningham’s racist and inflammatory comments over Obama’s middle name are the worst thing yet to happen to John McCain’s campaign, because McCain not only had to denounce Cunningham, he also had to apologize on his behalf! Then Cunningham got all crazy furious about it and called John McCain “John Juan Pablo McCain” and then said he was backing Hillary Rodham Clinton!

I’m thrilled to watch everyone screaming about middle names and Cunningham trying to dodge being called a racist. This whole middle name issue is very simple underneath all the spin and the doublespeak. People like Cunningham are trying to speak to and for those misguided and unfortunate few in our country who believe that America is supposed to be for white people, and that immigrants should always watch their back because no matter how big our dreams are, no matter what we are able to accomplish, no matter how high we fly, we will never be ‘true’ Americans. He’s trying to say that since white people ‘founded’ this country, the only people who are allowed to run it should be white people. He is clearly a white supremacist, but he’s too chickenshit to actually come out and say, “Go back to where you came from!” so instead, he keeps pointing out the non-white ethnic names to make his point that we don’t belong. He’s a Klansman in ‘too sheepish to actually admit it’ clothing! And it’s great because it makes everyone assume all Republicans are like that!! ha ha ha!!! Bill Cunningham is so wrong, and what is truly awesome is he is taking down the whole Republican party with him.

Open Letter From Hillary Clinton To The LGBT Community

Friday, February 29th, 2008

From Clinton, this is great too:

“As I have traveled around the country these past twelve months, what I sensed in my heart has been confirmed – America is embracing its LGBT sons and daughters with an acceptance and understanding as never before. On the campaign trail, a father of a gay son will ask about ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. A woman will ask why she can be discriminated against just because of who she is. Sometimes they wait furtively for the crowd to thin and then whisper their confidences in a soft voice and sometimes they stand up proudly at town meetings and want me to share my views on how I will help lead the change to assure that this country fulfills its promise to everyone.

Let me tell you what I have been telling voters across America. I am fully committed to the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans. For seven long years, the Bush Administration has tried to divide us - only seeing people who matter to them. It’s been a government of the few, by the few, and for the few. And no community has been more invisible to this administration than the LGBT community.

I will change that. The best evidence of what I will do as President is what I have already done.

I am proud of my record as First Lady, as a U.S. Senator and as a candidate for President in working toward the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans.

· I am proud that as Chair of the Senate Democratic Steering and Outreach Committee in 2006, I worked closely with LBGT community to develop a smart strategy that defeated the Federal Marriage Amendment. I am proud of fighting the FMA as divisive wedge politics at its worst.

· I am proud to be a co-sponsor of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, and the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligation Act which would grant the same benefits (including health insurance) to domestic partners of federal employees that are currently offered to employees’ legal spouses.

· I am proud to have authored the Early Treatment for HIV Act, which expands access to vital treatment options for low-income individuals living with HIV, and fought to fully fund the Ryan White CARE Act.

· I am proud that I hired a National Director of LGBT Outreach within a month of announcing my candidacy for President and to have openly gay and lesbian staffers serving at all levels of my campaign.

· I am proud to have a National LGBT Steering Committee of over 130 that includes openly LGBT elected officials, Board members and opinion leaders on issues ranging from transgender rights, to HIV/AIDS, to “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”.

· I am proud to have marched in Gay Pride parades as both First Lady and as Senator and to have spoken in front of so many LGBT audiences ranging from the Human Rights Campaign, Empire State Pride Agenda, the Hetrick Martin Institute, PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), GMHC (Gay Men’s Health Crisis), and the American Foundation for AIDS Research.

· I am proud to have fought Republican efforts to demonize and marginalize the LGBT community, and I will continue to do that as President.

We have so much work to do. When I am President, we will work together to make sure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits and that nothing stands in the way of loving couples who want to adopt children in need. We’re going to expand our federal hate crimes legislation and pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and assure that they are both fully inclusive of all people. And finally, we will put an end to the failed policy of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Courage, honor, patriotism and sacrifice – the traits that define our men and women in uniform – have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

My father was a conservative Republican, who held very traditional views for much of his life. Yet in his last years, it was a gay couple who lived next door who provided much of the compassion and comfort he and my mother needed as he grew ill. And it was that same neighbor who held his hand as he died. If my father can move, America can move.

To each and every LGBT American, I say this. You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity. Thank you for your courage. It is time that we recognize your hard work. I know that this country is ready for changes in the law that reflect the evolution in our hearts.

America deserves a President who appeals to the best in each of us, not the worst; a President who values and respects all Americans and treats all Americans equally no matter who they are or who they love. I want to be that President. I want to be your President.”

Open Letter From Barack Obama To The LGBT Community

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Here is a message from Obama to all of us!

“I’m running for President to build an America that lives up to our founding promise of equality for all – a promise that extends to our gay brothers and sisters. It’s wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. And I ask for your support in this election so that together we can bring about real change for all LGBT Americans.

Equality is a moral imperative. That’s why throughout my career, I have fought to eliminate discrimination against LGBT Americans. In Illinois, I co-sponsored a fully inclusive bill that prohibited discrimination on the basis of both sexual orientation and gender identity, extending protection to the workplace, housing, and places of public accommodation. In the U.S. Senate, I have co-sponsored bills that would equalize tax treatment for same-sex couples and provide benefits to domestic partners of federal employees. And as president, I will place the weight of my administration behind the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Act to outlaw hate crimes and a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act to outlaw workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples — whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage. Unlike Senator Clinton, I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) – a position I have held since before arriving in the U.S. Senate. While some say we should repeal only part of the law, I believe we should get rid of that statute altogether. Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does. I have also called for us to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and I have worked to improve the Uniting American Families Act so we can afford same-sex couples the same rights and obligations as married couples in our immigration system.

The next president must also address the HIV/AIDS epidemic. When it comes to prevention, we do not have to choose between values and science. While abstinence education should be part of any strategy, we also need to use common sense. We should have age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception. We should pass the JUSTICE Act to combat infection within our prison population. And we should lift the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. In addition, local governments can protect public health by distributing contraceptives.

We also need a president who’s willing to confront the stigma – too often tied to homophobia – that continues to surround HIV/AIDS. I confronted this stigma directly in a speech to evangelicals at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, and will continue to speak out as president. That is where I stand on the major issues of the day. But having the right positions on the issues is only half the battle. The other half is to win broad support for those positions. And winning broad support will require stepping outside our comfort zone. If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones – and that’s what I’ve done throughout my career. I brought this message of inclusiveness to all of America in my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic convention. I talked about the need to fight homophobia when I announced my candidacy for President, and I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign – from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King once preached.

Just as important, I have been listening to what all Americans have to say. I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBT Americans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary.

Americans are yearning for leadership that can empower us to reach for what we know is possible. I believe that we can achieve the goal of full equality for the millions of LGBT people in this country. To do that, we need leadership that can appeal to the best parts of the human spirit. Join with me, and I will provide that leadership. Together, we will achieve real equality for all Americans, gay and straight alike.”

What’s The Big Deal About Turbans?

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

What’s the big deal about turbans? Supposedly the Clinton camp sent a picture of Barack Obama wearing a turban out to conservative websites to re-emphasize the false rumors that he is a Muslim, which is pretty low of them, mostly because of some Americans’ misunderstanding and prejudice against the Islamic faith. People just assume all Muslims are terrorists, which is absolutely untrue and completely dumb. Besides, Obama is not even Muslim, he is Christian, and he has spent a lot of his campaign talking about just that. Why should it even matter if he were a Muslim? Our country demonizes Muslims out of pure ignorance and racism, totally ignoring the fact that Christianity and Islam are, in truth, not all that different. God is God. God goes by many names. God, Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Spirit, the Universe, the Goddess, Shiva, Kuan Yin, Kali, Oprah – they are all the same.

And religious garments do not somehow make the wearer suddenly a devotee. I wear yoga pants like almost every day and do you think I ever go to class? All this, and that picture was totally taken out of context because it was during a special visit to that country! Like you’ve never gotten drunk in Mexico and donned a sombrero and sat on a donkey! Do you pick coffee beans? I didn’t think so! I like how people act all high and mighty when they have all done the same thing. Plus this clearly wasn’t even a drunken activity, much like the sombrero/donkey situation that many have found themselves in AFTER the fact, after the incriminating false Juan Valdez coffee picking photos were taken and posted as their myspace default picture. The turban worn in the Obama picture was perfectly appropriate for the situation at hand. And wearing a traditional garment when visiting the country of its origin should be seen as a respectful gesture, one that I wish more world leaders would be gracious enough to adopt. It shows a deep reverence for the culture, a willingness to roll with it. When in Somalia, do as the Somalis do….or more like - what happens in Somalia stays in Somalia. Perhaps the rest of the world wouldn’t resent us so much if we gave them some props every now and again!

Besides, turbans can look cute! I have one, but I don’t wear it, because I already have a giant head and the problem with turbans is they can make your head look much bigger than it is. Then also, remembering that the camera adds ten pounds, I would completely exceed the size of anybody’s screen and would only able to be in IMAX movies – and as much as I love Everest, I don’t want to have to limit myself. But for the lucky and small headed, turbans can be smart and glamorous, very Lana Turner – perfect with a ruched pearl white 50s two piece and pearls. Or even a little kooky and crazy like Joanne Worley, matched to your psychedelic caftan on your way to a key party.

It’s All About You

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

In 2004, I was invited by a prominent LGBT political organization to perform at the Democratic National Convention, but just days before the event, I was abruptly dis-invited. I believe it was because at that point, the Kerry camp was trying to avoid controversy. It may have been because I said that I thought Theresa Heinz Kerry was hot, which I still believe. Or it may have been because I called John Kerry an Ent – one of those old, slow tree people from Lord of the Rings. Or maybe it was the time that I said that Laura Bush’s oval orifice tasted like Lysol. Of course, in all these instances, I was speculating, and these comments may have been in questionable, or even possibly - in bad taste, especially in the Lysol situation. But who says Lysol has to be a bad flavor? It might be somewhat fresh. It might make you feel like a pine forest – which might make her a better match for John Kerry, with his wooden ways. I don’t know. I guess you can just call me ‘divisive!’

In any case, I was offended by the LGBT group’s decision to disinvite me, and I felt very left out of the festivities, as festive as these political events can be. In truth, they aren’t a lot of fun. Just a lot of ulcers just waiting to happen and then afterward trying to drink away the pain of losing. Still, not being included, for me, was a deep wounding, because I have always taken great pride whenever I was able participate in politics. My parents have never voted, because they have always believed that this was not their country, and I have felt grateful with every vote, every rally, every march, every election – because I know in my heart and soul that this is my country, and with my vote, I have a voice – one that is just as loud and strong as every other voter in this country. As I watched the convention on television, I felt very non-included, and I vowed then never to let anyone or anything make me feel that way again. I decided I would become more involved in politics, and if I am not asked to a party, or dis-invited to a party, I will throw my own party instead. I hope that all of you do the same. No matter what your feelings are, for whatever candidate, make your voice heard. This Presidential election is the most exciting one I have seen in my lifetime. Whether you are for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton – or even (gasp) John McCain (who I wouldn’t want to vote for because I don’t want to see my tax dollars spent on Viagra) or Mike Huckabee (who I dislike so much I can’t believe it – I would rather go see his band “Capitol Offense” than vote for him – and that is saying a lot!) – whoever you may support, your voice matters. Your vote counts – it’s a big deal. It’s everything. Whatever you do, be sure and vote. I know it’s a simple thing, but lots of people ignore it and think everyone else will do it for them. They can’t – and they shouldn’t. It’s all about you.

This entry is cross-posted at The Huffington Post

Whatever Happened to Gay Marriage?

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

Hey everyone! I am blogging once in a while now for CNN so check me out there also!

What ever happened to gay marriage? People don’t really talk about it anymore. I fear the issue has just gone away. With all the excitement about a Bush-free world, everyone sort of forgot that we don’t really have equal rights for gays and lesbians yet. I am just as excited as everyone else that Bush will be out of office soon, believe me. Bush wasn’t a bad President. He was the WORST President. But just because he’s leaving doesn’t mean all our problems will be solved automatically.

I am just worried that the issue of gay marriage has been dropped as a political argument because the consensus from the last election is that so many people hate gays that there is no way to maneuver around that prejudice, so we might as well forget it. This is amazingly depressing and I am not sure what to do about it. I don’t want to forget about gay marriage because I think America can overcome its prejudices. We are a country that has made our history doing just that. I believe we are ready to abolish homophobic attitudes. They are outdated and frankly, totally beneath us. This is a great country. Why are we acting so immature about people wanting to build families? Who cares who makes a family anyway? Why is it even a problem? Why would anyone be against it? Why are people accepting that people are against it? Why is homophobia still OK, even among presidential candidates?

The only candidates who seem confident enough to talk about gay marriage are the ones who are adamantly against it, like Mike Huckabee. Oh my, I so do not heart Huckabee. He equates homosexuality with bestiality, which is interesting because he is so very closely tied to Chuck Norris, who does have a bit of a sensual beast in him. If you hate gays so much, why did you pick the celebrity who looks most like International Mr. Leather 1995 to endorse you?

Hating homosexuals is supposedly a Christian thing-which I don’t get either. I was raised in the church. My grandfather was a minister, and we had church seven days a week at my house. Of course, it sucked. Majorly. But the upside of it all was I did learn a lot about the Bible. I read the Bible-several times-and learned everything you would want to know about it. I even taught Sunday school, threatening all the kids who got out of line with eternal damnation. Because of my upbringing, I believe in God, and more importantly, I think I understand God. What God wants, what God is asking from all of us, is basically, “Don’t be an asshole.” That’s it. And we are lucky because of Jesus, now it is “Try not to be an asshole.” This of course, is the King James Version.

I wish for Huckabee, and for all those out there who oppose gay marriage, to just try, try, try not to be an sshole. It is all Jesus really wants.

(Cross-posted at CNN)

I’m Bi-Candidate

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

I am in the closet.

Not sexually of course, because anyone who knows me knows I am up for anything with anybody. I take all comers. I am an equal opportunity destroyer. So, I am not in that kind of closet. I am in the Democratic Primary closet. I know a lot of people in this closet. We can’t talk about it. We are “undecided” in the polls. We are the ones everyone is fighting over. But I don’t want to be in this closet, not anymore. I am outing myself.

I am bi-candidate. I like Hillary and Obama. I like Obama and Hillary. I think it is wonderful that we have not just one, but two great candidates to choose from. It is an embarrassment of riches really. Not just one amazing politician. But two! We have the incredibly exciting Barack Obama, who represents hope and change and who can get a whole generation of disillusioned voters excited about politics again, which I think I is a miracle in itself. Then we have the amazing Hillary Clinton, who has already proved herself to be a great leader, who can and will clean up after the Bush administration just like she did the last time she was President.

I can’t decide. And so I don’t want to tell anyone who I voted for because almost exactly half my friends are into Hillary and the other half are all about Obama, so no matter who I vote for, half my ass will get kicked, which should be ok, because at least I will have the other half of my ass to use for campaigning for my favorite candidate (even though it might look half-assed).

I voted last week, several days early, since I am a permanent absentee voter and have the luxury of voting in the privacy of my own home in my own time. I picked the candidate that I liked best, the one who I thought would do the best job. I filled in my bubble all the way, using blue ink to represent my blue state of mind and put my ballot in the mail. Then, I got worried I had made the wrong choice. I kept thinking about going back into the mailbox and fishing out my ballot and changing it. I really thought about doing this even though it is very illegal! I thought, hmm, maybe if I took a coathanger, stretched it out, secured a small flashlight with tape to the wire so I could find my ballot, put a piece of chewed gum on the end so I could somehow fish my ballot out, etc… I think I got all these ideas from an old episode of “The Little Rascals.” Then I realized that even if I broke the law and went to all this trouble to do this it probably wouldn’t do me any good anyway because I had already filled in one bubble and I couldn’t really erase it to fill in the other one. Then, what would happen if I changed my mind again? So I just left it.

The only way I could be happy is if Obama and Clinton were on the same ticket. Please God, let this happen.

This entry is cross-posted on The Huffington Post.

Babies for Barack and Chuck for Huck

Friday, February 1st, 2008

AsianAmericansforObama.com has “Babies for Barack!” with the cutest baby endorsing him. It is adorable. I think it is time for all babies to let us know who they want for President. Babies got it going on! I think most of them are born Democrats. Have you ever hung out with a baby with a toy? Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That’s a straight up Democrat move! You don’t become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.

I live in a weirdly conservative neighborhood, where at the local watering hole, old dudes sit around the bar talking about campaigning for Mike Huckabee. It would be scary, but they are all so drunk and cirrhosis bound that they don’t seem to actually pose a threat. What is there to like about Huckabee? He’s a hit with the home schoolers, which is a red flag in the first place. Perhaps it’s his love affair with Chuck Norris that is appealing. They are the Brangelina of the Christian Right. KD Lang, who I worked with last weekend (and who is an absolute BABE – totally beautiful and dreamy – so handsome - looks just like Jake Gyllenhaal), called them “Chuckabee” – which is just so perfect.

This entry is cross-posted at The Huffington Post