[...]I Can Make You Thin Through The TV « Margaret Cho[...]…

[...]I Can Make You Thin Through The TV « Margaret Cho[...]…

Dateline: March 2010

Los Angeles, California USA

“You Skinny Hebrew”

By Jeff Wayne

I am a show business junkie and a “Baby Boomer”. I not only make my living in show business, but I collect show business memorabilia from the good old days. Autographs, pictures, letters, books, magazines, props, and through the years I have managed to acquire some very odd items, which makes sense since I am a odd person. Not a queer person. That is an entirely different matter. Big difference between odd and queer, and the old usage of the word vs. the new. Queer isn’t it? I fear I digress, back to the libretto!

In my memorabilia collection you will find Oscar Wilde’s calling card from one of his visits to the United States. It is framed and hangs in my den. A 3-D, electronic photograph of Lou Costello (hologram), I don’t know, it is so lifelike you feel like your looking right in his eyes! Who’s on first? You Lou, always. Bing Crosby’s ice cream containers and Bing Crosby’s record cleaners. I guess you can use them on CD’s, I don’t know, I don’t have any. A private published magazine written and published by Lenny Bruce. This was given to me by his mother and autographed to me. Sally Marr! She was more of a character than Lenny, and while she had a dirty mouth, she didn’t do drugs. Some of Dean Martin’s home movies, some of Al Jolson’s home movies, and a private recording Dean Martin made for Jerry Lewis’ birthday, circa 1953.

Scott Lewis, son of Jerry, became a friend of mine. Strangely I knew his Father before I knew him. Scott is a real classy guy, and knowing my love of his Father and show business, he presented me with a rare gift one day long, long ago. It is a 78 record titled:”You Skinny Hebrew” which was recorded by Dean as a birthday present for Jerry. I believe Scott said this was around 1953.

Dean was recording for Capital records at that time, so he probably recorded it there.
It has special lyrics and is recorded with a full orchestra, (Nelson Riddle), with a good arrangement considering this is a one shot joke. The song is sung in the manner of the day, in typical Dino style. The joke is he was happy and content being a black jack dealer in Steubenville, Ohio (his hometown) and since teaming with Jerry his life is hell!
Work, work, work, and bills, bills, bills, and income taxes! In the manner of a Friars’ Club roasts, there is some joshing by insulting, i.e. the chorus, “You rat face, you bastard, you Jew!”. In these politically correct times I am sure many will find this very offensive, without considering this was a personal recording only intended for Jerry, and it was a common humor shared by those “insiders.”

One of the members of the rat pack sings for Le Roi du Crazy! Has the rat pack ever been more popular than now? That is because we have no stars! Frank, Sammy, Dean! Retro is in! And if you are wondering about Le Roi du Crazy, well that is what they call Jerry Lewis in France, where he is regarded a genius and total filmmaker. So when you listen to this record, you hear Dean, ol’red eyes (figure that reference) singing a song meant for Jerry’s ears alone. You skinny Hebrew! (Guess who!)

Happy Birthday Jerry, March 16, 2010.

Now available to the general public on Apple iTunes Worldwide.

Worldwide release on Apple iTunes

“You Skinny Hebrew”

By: Dean Dino Martin

Never before Available to the General Public

(A 1953 humorous & satirical birthday tribute song from Dean Martin to Jerry Lewis)

Dean Martin (June 7, 1917 – December 25, 1995), born Dino Paul Crocetti in Steubenville, Ohio to Italian immigrant parents, Gaetano and Angela Crocetti.

Martin and Lewis’ official debut together occurred at Atlantic City’s 500 Club on July 24, 1946 and they were not well received.. More than a few people dubbed them “The Organ Grinder and the Monkey”.

Lewis and Martin agreed to “go for broke”, to throw out the pre-scripted gags and to improvise. Dean sang and Jerry came out dressed as a busboy, dropping plates and making a shambles of both Martin’s performance and the club’s sense of decorum until Lewis was chased from the room as Martin pelted him with breadrolls. They did slapstick, reeled off old vaudeville jokes, and did whatever else popped into their heads at the moment. This time, the audience doubled over in laughter. This success led to a series of well-paying engagements on the Eastern seaboard, culminating in a triumphant run at New York’s Copacabana.

The act broke up in 1956, 10 years to the day from the first official teaming.

Dino made a public reconciliation with Jerry Lewis on Lewis’ Labor Day Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon in 1976. Frank Sinatra shocked Lewis and the world by bringing Martin out on stage. As Martin and Lewis embraced, the audience erupted in cheers and the phone banks lit up, resulting in one of the telethon’s most profitable years. Lewis reported the event was one of the three most memorable of his life. Lewis brought down the house when he quipped, “So, you working?” Martin, playing drunk, replied that he was “at the Meggum” – this reference to the MGM Grand Hotel convulsed Lewis. This, along with the death of Martin’s son Dean Paul Martin a few years later, helped to bring the two men together. They maintained a quiet friendship but only performed together again once, in 1989, on Dean’s 72nd birthday.

Martin died of acute respiratory failure at his home on Christmas morning 1995, at the age of 78.

“You Skinny Hebrew”

By: Dean Dino Martin

Never before Available to the General Public

(A 1953 humorous & satirical birthday tribute song from Dean Martin to Jerry Lewis)

If you go to the Apple iTunes Store and type “You Skinny Hebrew” in the search line, you will see the Dino to Jerry song.

You can also click on this link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/you-skinny-hebrew-live/id352134363?i=352134391&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

I noticed that you have one category called Beauty and Body Image that leads to http://www.margaretcho.com/content/tag/beauty-body-image/.

But, you also have a category called Beauty, which leads to http://www.margaretcho.com/content/tag/beauty/ and different posts.

I discovered this when I was trying to find your post about the I Can Make You Thin post.

You can’t get to it by clicking on your topic category “Beauty and Body Image”.

Raven Lee

I first became aware of you years ago when you had that TV show and really admired your talent.

I look forward to reading more of your writing!

You rock!

Yeah, I think they’re great guidelines. But they aren’t his.

Go, Margaret. You’re the best.

Though if I may, Margaret, and I hope you read these comments since I hope this reaches you, while I totally appreciate and admire your crusade to tell women they don’t need to have terrible self esteem just because they don’t fit one particular and unrealistic beauty standard (even the supermodels are airbrushed and enhanced to hell and back, remember!), I ask that you are careful of one thing. Please be careful not to cross the line and start backlashing against us skinny chicks! I get some very hurtful comments sometimes from larger people, mostly in the form of backhanded compliments or just going on and on about how skinny I am, loudly, in front of other people. If I did the same to them–”LOOK AT YOU YOU’RE JUST SO CHUBBY! WHEN I POKE YOU IT JIGGLES HEHEHEHE!”–I’d get bitchsmacked into oblivion. You’re a beautiful woman and I’ve heard your quip about “if I was 120 lbs I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed, I’d be too weak!” a bunch of times on LOGO bumpers, and while it’s a cute quip, don’t forget that some of us ARE 120 lbs, and our genes and body composition are such if we weighed, say, 190 we’d have joint problems, or like in my case with my family, at a huge risk for diabetes, and probably just wouldn’t even look that great since some of us just don’t carry it as well as others. Just like you’re happy with your size, I’m happy with mine, and both of us get crap for it, and neither of us really should. PLEASE keep in mind the goal of helping boost the self esteem of *ALL* women, and don’t fall into the trap of trying to boost one group’s self esteem over the others. I may be skinny but I very much resent the implication that as such I’m part of the problem–I’ve dated and dove between the sheets of all sizes of women (and I can’t say I’ve enjoyed one particular size or shape more than any other!), and spent countless hours one on one trying to help some of my curvier friends get out of the emotional funk they’re in over their weight and realize that they are and can be beautiful at their size, even if they aren’t comfortable with it.

Anyway. I’m gonna hafta add this show to the tivo though, I might be thin but that also ends up with me dispensing weight loss advice; I know so many people, several in my immediate family, who have lost a lot of weight and I’ve lived through it with them so I know far too much about it. Then again, healthy eating, proper portion sizes, and good habits are important to understand no matter what size you are or want to be!