Archive for March, 2008

Because he’s black?

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

I am disappointed by Geraldine Ferraro. I always thought she was cool! That sucks that she thinks that the only reason Barack Obama is where he is today is because he’s black! It reminds me of when I started, comics were jealous of my early success, and they would say, “Oh, the only reason she’s gotten anywhere is because she is Korean.” Omg – as if!! Yeah, right. Because Hollywood has had such a long standing love affair with Korean comics!



Sexism is bad too – yes. That is a big problem as well, but it shouldn’t have to be a contest. Who gets oppressed more?! It all sucks. All I know is that people of color and women both have to work exponentially harder at everything in order to get ahead. To act as if color or gender is some kind of advantage in this extremely racist and sexist country is delusional. Racism exists, sexism exists – the people who are saying it doesn’t are in denial.



We’re Listening

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

This is appalling. And it isn’t some crazy backwoods religious nut. This is an elected official! This kind of hate speech is intolerable. I don’t know why people think there is some kind of homosexual agenda. I have been around the whole world of homosexuality for a long time now and I have yet to hear about an agenda. And what is this indoctrination she is talking about? I never got indoctrinated! I feel left out! Basically these are the insane busybodies who have been pissed off ever since “HEE HAW” was canceled. I wish they would just go back into the cornfield.



This is a lot worse than frequenting prostitutes. Somebody in Oklahoma really needs to resign.





Check out the Victory Fund, who put the video together. They are going to be in the lobby at some of the stops on my tour, so make sure you visit them!



It’s 3am!

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

It is 3am and the phone is ringing. Who do you want picking up the phone?



Well, if someone is calling me at 3am, then usually, they are looking for some ass. I don’t think that I will be picking it up, unless I am somehow craving ass at that particular hour, which I usually am not. I am more of a 3pm ass person than a 3am ass person, because I have to work. So whoever I vote for – I am hoping that person will not be looking for ass at 3am because that wouldn’t be so great for the country, with the exception of Bill Clinton who you know was looking for ass all the time (not that this would have anything to do with Hillary Clinton – really – she is a smart lady so I am sure at that hour she would be sleeping like any sensible Senator). Bill Clinton probably answered the ass phone at all hours but he still managed to get a lot of stuff done and be a good president. I would go so far as to say he was a good ass president.



Anyway, I don’t know about who’s gonna call you at 3am if it isn’t ass related.



Airborne Has Forsaken Me

Friday, March 7th, 2008

I cannot believe that Airborne is a fraud! I used to take the stuff religiously with my water – which I have already talked extensively about. The only thing that I drank instead of water was water with airborne. Sometimes I would make a special cocktail of airborne and emergen-c mixed. I don’t want to get sick so I don’t fuck around. It is the worst thing for me to get sick because I cannot ever take days off, no matter what. I just can’t call in sick to work because there is no one to call. If I tried to call in sick I would just have to try to explain it to my boss – myself – and I am one mean employer. So there are no sick days if you are me. Illness is not an option. Also, I am terrified of getting colds because I usually lose my voice when that happens, and then I am in seriously deep shit. I can’t mime my shows, so I can never lose my voice.



That is why I thought airborne was such a godsend. I put so much faith in those little citrus alka-seltzer-like tablets. I thought I could touch anything and then pick at my eyes as much as I wanted. I thought I could just let anyone cough on me. I thought that I never had to wash my hands! I thought I was infallible. It turns out – we are not! Airborne is a scam!! I feel totally ripped off!!



I hope emergen-c still works.



Ferocia Coutura

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

Congratulations to Christian for being so fierce and winning Project Runway!!! I really thought that all the designers were very talented and did an amazing job but Christian – let’s face it – the bitch is fierce. I was into him from them moment I laid eyes on him because of his cute little tattoo and all his adorable hair on one side. You’ve got to have love for a baby with a flat iron. I am on the road and don’t have tv wherever I go, so I wasn’t able to watch everyone’s collections, but I did just watch the clip online of Christian finding out he was the winner and I totally cried! Then Victoria Beckham told him she was a fan and would be happy to wear one of his designs! This has to be the best thing ever to happen to a gay boy ever!!! Viva la Christian!!! All hail Ferocia Coutura!!!



It’s Me, Margaret

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

Thanks for all of the questions on my blog and myspace blog! Here are some answers:



I get that whole water thing but I’m curious to know your stance on Seltzer Water… (yes I really wonder about this)



I really enjoy seltzer water, sparkling water, soda water, Perrier – all types of these kinds of beverages. I think they are refreshing and good to drink. The problem is that the bubbles in the water really make me fart a lot – and I am the type of person who doesn’t need any help in that department. I am a super farty kind of person, and I will do it and admit that I did it. Whosoever hath smelt it, hath dealt it, and I am the dealer. I have all the fart cards and I deal them without mercy. Don’t ask me to hit you! I am also worried that the carbonation in these drinks will somehow make the water unhealthy. I am not sure about whether or not the carbonation is actually bad for you, but any fruit that makes you toot with that much sturm und drang can’t be good. I think musical fruit is cute but not when it’s playing Wagner.



HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THE DIVA CUP??



I tried the Diva Cup but it’s not big enough! I need a Diva 32-ouncer, because I feel like I’m bailing out a sailboat with the Diva Cup. It’s too small. I can’t unload it fast enough.



Are you ever going to do another network show or sitcom??? I miss your show still. I peed my pants laughing every time you were on. ( Figure of speach I swear lol)



Yes! I am doing a new reality show on VH1 called “The Cho Show,” starring me and my parents! It will start sometime this summer. Check out my website for more details soon. It’s gonna rule.



what’s the funniest thing you’ve seen or done lately this year? (besides your work, of course…)



I am absolutely in love with the Flight of the Conchords. They are so damn funny and also make some good music.



What’s your favorite thing about Los Angeles?



I love it because my house is there and my friends are there and my dogs are there and my husband is there….



Are you missing the finale of project runway? call me i’ll tell you who wins…



I totally missed it and I’m really upset about it. I have a feeling it’s Christian, but I don’t even want to know. If it’s not him I don’t want to know!!



…since I’m a Librarian what is the best book you’ve ever read in your life?



My favorite book for the longest time was “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold. I really love “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison. I think Toni is my favorite author. I also love “The Namesake,” by Jhumpa Lahiri, which they made a film of starring Kal Penn!



What advice would you give aspiring comedians, writers, actors – hell, all creative people – who want to pursuit their dreams?



Just keep doing it, no matter what. I think tenacity is the main ingredient for success. People who just don’t give up, never give up, will eventually succeed.



if you could be any animal, what would you want to be and why?



I would like to be one of my dogs, because they have the best life!



Ask Margaret

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

I am traveling today and can’t blog. Anything you want to ask me?