It is that time of year again, and the stakes are higher this year because California has lifted the ban on gay marriage. People are cruising for keeps, and it is going to be a HOT summer. I am married already, so I am not looking for another partner, but the sport of flirting is all about looking, and so for me, everyone is up for grabs!! Flirting is fun, and I am seriously one of the best, so I want to share some of my secrets for a sexy, flirtatious, fun, PROUD summer!

1) Add 15 minutes of cardio to your workout. I don’t know why this helps but it does! If you don’t want to do this, just up your reps. Or just pretend that you did both and wear something short/tight/nonexistent…

2) Surround yourself with people who are already in love with you or have been in love with you and are over it but still like to hang out. This is very important. The way you interact with people has a great deal to do with how you feel about yourself. The collective gaze that you find yourself in must flatter you, make you feel gorgeous and perfect and loved. It is better than makeup and even more important than good lighting. Make sure your target can see you having a really good time with your friends. Be sure to laugh and throw your head back a lot and show your teeth.

3) Nobody is beyond your reach. Remember that you are the most beautiful creature and if they don’t seem to be into you, they are just shy! If you see someone you like but don’t know, don’t hesitate to approach them. Do it right away, because if you think about it for too long, you will lose your nerve, it will become too intimidating and scary because as the seconds pass, you start thinking too much about how you will come off. Just do it. Remember #3.

4) When you do go up and talk to someone, try starting with a light yet playful opener. For example, “Want to get married? Let’s just get married now and work out the relationship stuff later. Like I’m thinking honeymoon first – then let’s get to know each other…” This is a good opener because it is funny, sexual, aggressive – but also so aggressive that it is non-committal. This is a common ploy of mine – be so aggressive that no one can take you seriously, even though you are totally serious in your own way. Another good opener is a fake breakup: “You know, it is really not going to work between us. Your eyes/ass/whatever are too nice. It is going to get in the way of US.” This is a good opener too because you are subtly rejecting them before they have a chance to do anything – so naturally, they are going to try to get back into your fake good graces. Slightly devaluing someone is better than compliments – it puts you in an authoritative position right away – just don’t over do it! No insults or racial slurs!!

5) Conversation is easy – you say something, they say something. Don’t let it scare you! Just remember, everyone is scared. We are all scared all the time of each other and ourselves. This world is meant for the brave, and it is hard because everyone starts out terrified – everyone is born afraid.

6) The other important thing to remember is after you start a conversation with your target, do not walk away too fast. This is where most people falter in flirting. They work to get someone interested and talking, and then they get nervous and make an excuse to get another drink or go to the bathroom. don’t do this. If the conversation lags, just stand there. Take a moment to look into the eyes of your target. Maybe share a secret smile. Don’t act as if the silence is awkward or anything other than what it is – nature – and that is the secret to all of it.

Flirting is nature – mother nature taking its course. This is how I can get away with as much as I do. I put it down to nature. I am just following my flirting nature – propagating the species (sort of – well, not making babies, but certainly pulling more than a few out of the closet). I blame my flirtatiousness all on nature – it is the call of the wild! It’s not my fault!! There’s so much more…I really should write a book on this…