Posts Tagged ‘Mail’

From The Road

Friday, October 28th, 2005



Note from webmistress: Margaret is busy on the road, so she asked us to thank you for all of the nice photos and emails and comments you’ve all sent in from the book tour. We love these! Thank you all for making it special! Hope to see you on the rest of the tour.



Hello Margaret,



I can’t thank you enough for your book reading/signing event. I drove all the way down to Arlington from Baltimore just to come see you! Getting home was hell, I always get lost in DC!! Anyway, thank you so much for answering the question I asked during the Q&A portion about how your mom is doing today…I am so happy to hear she is well!



I posted the pictures I took from the event on photobucket so that I could send them to you. I really wanted you to see them! You looked absolutely amazing as always! Hopefully you can add these to your personal collection!
Again, thank you so much for everything and I can’t wait for your DVD and to see you out on the road again! Take care, Margaret! I LOVE YOU!



Love always, B.
Hola Margaret!



I saw you at the book signing last night at Barnes & Noble. It was so wonderful to see you again as always! I was the Al-Gayda guy who welcomed you to New York! Unfortunately, when I finally got to see you all I could say in your presence was “FIERCE! FIERCE! FIERCE!” To hear you tell me “FIERCE FIERCE FIERCE!” right back at me, and see you wave back to me in your town car after the show was amazing! What I really meant to say was “You are such an inspiration to so many of us. Thank you from the BOTTOM OF MY HEART for all that you do.”



Seeing you and reading your new book last night TOTALLY GIVES ME STRENGTH GIRL to keep up the fight and to live my life more passionately. You make me proud to be me.



By the way, I just read your blog again, as always, and saw that your nerves were a little shot from the book tour. Can I PLEASE just tell you, YOU LOOKED FUCKIN FABULOUS LAST NIGHT, AND I AM NOT EVEN PLAYING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! You keep up the tour, your voice, the fight for as long as you can. And if you ever need a break for yourself, you’ve got Army Cho right behind you girl!!!!!!



MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE FROM NYC,
F.



Dear Ms. Cho:



My friends and I saw you read at the Barnes and Noble on 17th st in New York City. We were VERY VERY pleased and entertained. As Deaf people it is often really hard to see comedian; ASL interpreters can’t keep up with how fast they talk! We were lucky to find two who were big fans and knew your voice well enough to give us a shot at seeing you – and we were pleased you were gracious enough to allow it at the last minute. Hope you had fun in the city! Look me up next time you come by New York, we’d be happy to buy you a drink or two (or ten!)



Yours, J.



Save Tookie

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005

I want everyone to know about this terrible injustice happening right now in our country. Please call or write the CA Governor and let our voices be heard.



Here’s an urgent letter I received:



Margaret,



Although I could spend this whole email talking about how fab you are, more serious things are on my mind. I have always been against the death penalty. I find it to be highly racist; if you don’t have money and you are a black man in this country convicted of murder, death will most likely be your fate. In these times where convictions are being overturned and DNA evidence is exonerating people left and right it seems this practice is more barbaric than ever. As a supporter of Stanley “Tookie” Williams I know you are aware of what is going on in his case. His work has changed the lives of thousands. Is there any way you could put more info on him on your website, maybe a blog entry? I just don’t know what else to do, I have written Arnold and encourage everyone to do the same. This is a man that does not deserve to die. I appreciate you Margaret for years you have made me laugh, but you also make me think, challenge me to stand up for what is right. I love you for that!



Love Always,



Mariesa



From Tookie.com:



“The U.S. Supreme Court, on October 11, 2005, ruled against Tookie on his final appeal and set his execution date for December 13. Thus they disregarded 9 of the 24 Ninth Circuit Court judges’ assertion that the District Attorney at Tookie’s trial employed “reprehensible and unconstitutional” racist tactics, using animal-in-a-jungle metaphors to refer to Tookie and to the South Central environment in which he lived. This landmark ruling means that minorities can now legally be rejected from juries based on race. This is now the law of the land.”



Read about Tookie and Tookie’s Corner



Contact Gov. Schwarzenegger: You can email him, call him (916-445-4633) or fax him (916-445-2841). Then sign the petition to Gov. Schwarzenegger asking him to grant clemency to Stanley “Tookie” Williams.



“They Don’t Know, Who We Be.” But They Will.

Monday, November 8th, 2004

Note from Team Cho: We want to thank all of you for being so motivated and passionate and inspiring and uplifting, and to share with you what people are sharing with us. Thank you for your spirit.



________________________________



Margaret,



I usually don’t write to people I don’t know (unless they’re my reps in Congress). I’ve decided to write this note to you because in a very sad but empowering way I’ve come to realize you’re probably the only person who will get what I need to say.



Wednesday morning was one of the hardest in my life. I woke up after barely getting 3 hours of sleep to discover that in a matter of hours it would be revealed that the great United States of America has been hijacked by ignorant and bigoted cowards. It shocked me, hurt me, and completely devastated me. I was demoralized and I cried long and hard for a country I’ve never really considered my own as I saw it turned into a place where people care more about not seeing people of the same sex who love each other be together, than the fact that their sons and daughters are dying in Iraq or that they can’t even afford proper healthcare. I was surprised by this immense pain because I recognized it. I’ve felt it before. It was heartbreak.



I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, a colony of the United States. My parents are rabid nationalists who want our country to be a republic independent from the American government. I moved to the U.S. after graduating high school to attend college here (in the rural South no less), and the culture shock can only be described as delicious. I was fascinated by the diversity of the people, the beauty and expand of the land. I loved it all. But I still saw America as the place that stole my country’s freedom. As a Latin American, I grew up knowing of the dirty American tricks that were at play in Central America, Chile, Colombia, and other places in the world. Because I am aware of and remember those actions, I’ve never really been able to feel American despite being born an American citizen. I’ve clung to my Puerto Rican identity while picking up a southern accent in Georgia, while falling in love with New York City even more deeply after 9/11, and while fighting tooth and nail to get Bush out of the White House this past year. And it wasn’t until Wednesday morning–drowning in tears and telling my mother on the phone I was moving to France–that I realized I *am* American. I am not only because there is much I love about this absurd country, but because my “values” are American. I believe in equality, personal freedom in the form of privacy, access to opportunity, the rule of law, justice, and most importantly, I believe in human rights. This country has an inspiring and admirable history in advancing human rights. What makes these moments in the country’s history so goosebump-inducing to me is that they have been long, hard slogs, beset with horribly painful set backs, but whence in the end, the American values prevailed. Abolitionists, suffragists, civil rights activists, anti-war activists, all these people have stood for all that is great about this country. And in that sense they are my brothers and sisters.



As I hysterically sobbed on the phone to my bleeding-heart liberal mother, I told her how disappointed I was that I had come to believe in a people that obviously don’t exist, that the America in my head and my heart simply wasn’t. I told her there was no way I could share air and space with people who are so filled with fear. As soon as I got off the phone with her I began plotting my escape. Would I try Canada first? Could I possibly stand living in Puerto Rico again? Is it really that wet in Ireland all the time? By the time I got to work I had spent my commute trying not to break down on the subway and was ready to take refuge in my daily online reading. That’s when the click came.



Yoda said it best: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Fear of those different. Fear of those we don’t understand. Fear of what we can’t explain or don’t know. Fear of losing control, power, comfort. After visiting the third blog I realized I knew what needed to be done.



I wanted to share this with you because I’ve respected you for many years, and have identified with your body-image struggles, but I didn’t get the big picture. I’ve been a feminist since I was 12 years old and I didn’t get how vital the struggle for gay rights is. How can we still allow this backwardness in this great country? How can it be acceptable for someone to claim they’re not homophobic and hateful when they oppose equal marriage for all Americans. How can this still be happening? Why aren’t we all outraged that second-class citizenship is still getting a pass here? This is shameful and an affront to American values and we can’t continue to condone it. It infuriates me that Bill Clinton would even suggest to Kerry that he campaign in favor of writing discrimination into the sacred texts of states. And Kerry’s response honestly calls for a round of blow jobs.



This is the struggle that will define our generation and I plan to be there. I have enlisted with a local gay rights advocacy group and I’m going to get dirty with this work. This is where my time, my money, my sweat, my energy, my talent, my life is going. Because this is the future I want and the one we need. I am encouraged and energized to know that’ll I’ll be part of the next watershed movement in this country. I am ashamed to say I never saw this as being in the same court as all the struggles in the ’60s and others throughout history.



My bad.



Now I’m ready to kick some ass.



Thank you, Margaret, for knowing what it was all about all along.



Love on,
-Y-



_________________________________________



Margaret,



I want to thank you for your last two blog entries. They have been truly helpful in getting through this trying time in our Nation’s history. I thought I would email this link because I think it would be great to post it on your blog and get it out to people. I am in no way affiliated with the makers of the video, SharedVoice.org, but just stumbled across it. The video clip is about 4 mins long and I would strongly recommend everyone who is feeling down about the election watch it. It moved me close to tears. Well, I’ll stop since I know you are busy but thank you for your continued work towards the type of America we all want and deserve.



Sincerely,
-A-
__________________________________________
Margaret,



A group of us read your blog yesterday, knowing that you would have shit fired up. We allowed ourselves one, only one, day of mourning, and today, we’re ready to roll :) I am a Latina lesbian living in Orange County (you performed at the Irvine Improv…you saw what it’s like here). This is a hard place to organize for queer rights, but we’re doing it. We’re meeting with our Assembly Members, and I have high hopes that this will be the year, with the organizing skills of Equality California, that we will pass the Marriage Act here in California. We are working on getting some support for the Permanent Partners Immigration Act, so that we can get at least ONE of our 1,138 missing federal rights.



Please, keep encouraging everyone to get off the “let’s move to Canada!” bandwagon. Enough already. We have serious problems, and we need passionate, intelligent, wonderful people to attack them head on. That’s you. That’s me. Today’s a good day. I am afraid we would have grown complacent under Kerry. And although I’m still pissed as hell that Bush won, I’m not going to let that fucker steam roll the world.



You are an inspiration. Work it, girl. Keep on yelling, keep on fighting, keep on motivating us all. I’m not moving to Canada. There’s too much to be done in my own backyard.



xo
-C-



“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde



_________________________________________



Dear Margaret-



I was compelled to drop you a note after spending hours recently on your website. I’ve seen a few of your shows live and knew that you were extremely supportive of the LGBT community but was not aware of what and activist and voice you truly are for us. I wholeheartedly agree with you in regards to the recent election. Now is not the time to get discouraged and run away from the opposition that is at hand. It truly is the time to organize and protest and make our voices heard throughout this country. I, myself, was feeling very weary after the elections ended, but after reading the letter you posted on the site, began to think…”wait, we can’t just stand back and let this happen!” I am a native of California and currently live in the city of Fresno. Yesterday one of the major Evangelical churches in our community hosted a conference called “Love Won Out,” which was sponsored by the right wing Christian group, Focus on the Family. The purpose of the conference was to teach the members of our community that homosexuality is not genetic and that it can be changed. Myself, along with about 50 other protestors (a nice sized group for such a small community), gathered in front of the church and “non-violently” protested the event for the entire duration of the conference. It was amazing to stand on the street corner with my sign, which read “Focus on your own family!” and to hear the hundreds of people passing by and honking their horns in support of what we were there doing. Of course some of the passers by would shout obscenities, but I see that as nothing more than ignorance. Long story short, I feel empowered now to fight the fight and not to give up. The truth is, there are many, many wonderful heterosexual people out there that do believe that homosexuals should be given the same civil rights as all Americans. Thank you again for being a voice for the LGBT community. You’re wonderful!



All the best,



-N-



Here’s a copy of the article that was run in today’s paper regarding the conference and protest.



________________________________________________



Dear Margaret,



First let me say, you are awesome. I do so admire you – your talent, your balls, your eloquence, your spirit. You are the real deal and a never-ending source of inspiration. Thank you for your insight. Thank you for sharing your journey through your stand-up. It has meant so much to me and so much to so many. I am Asian-American. My redneck Texan father met my Japanese mother after the Korean war when he was stationed (in the Air Force) in Fukuoka. I grew up watching Myushi Umeki on The Courtship of Eddie’s Father and thinking that was the only other Japanese woman on the planet besides my mom. (Admittedly, I lead a very sheltered existence in rural America.) The first time I ever heard you impersonating your mother in your stand-up I blew coke outta my nose. (Coke-a-cola. No. Really.) It made me laugh, of course, but it also made me rethink my relationship with my mother and just what kind of influence she had had on me as a woman. At 45 years of age I’m just now figuring it out. Somewhat. I’ve begun writing a show – again I was inspired by you – about my experience growing up Redneck Japanese in both Texas and Godforsaken Mississippi. (I’m an actress.) It’s called “Texanese Confessions: Living la Vida Yoko.” Hopefully before I’m fifty I’ll get that sucker up on stage.



But I digress.



I just read your blog for today, November 4, 2004. I want to share some thoughts with you. This is stuff that I’ve had rattling around my brain for a couple of days now and your mention of hate mail prompted me to email you. Here is what truly baffles me. Why are Republicans such sore winners? Why are they so angry at us even though they WON? THEIR. MAN. WON. I don’t get it. In my daily online reading I visit several liberal-and-proud-of-it-thank-you-very-much blogs and the accompanying comments. (Jim Gilliam for example.) There is inevitably at least one (and usually more) neocon(s) cursing liberals and calling us all losers and why that is and how wrong we are, how stupid we are, how misguided we are, (or much, much worse) and nanner, nanner, nanner, etc. etc. ad nauseam. WHY? I don’t go to any conservative-and-proud-of-it-thank-you-very-much blogs and post comments. I have no desire to. I DO visit websites (for example The Family Research Council – DAMN, that is some scary ass shit!) that have an opposing view from mine. It IS important to gather that information to gain a Big Picture understanding. “Know your enemy” and all. But why are these individuals haunting the most liberal blogs on the net to gloat instead of celebrating their victory with their own kind? They should be hanging out together doing a virtual Snoopy dance. One would think anyway. You WON! Leave us alone! Get the fuck out of my face and go party elsewhere. I don’t get it. Will they not be satisfied until they have abolished the First Amendment and turned the USA into a theocracy?



Another thing that not only baffles but upsets me. I lose sleep over this. The debate over who won, who lost, the merits of this candidate over that candidate, how their campaigns succeeded or failed – all of these things are politics-as-usual and granted very fascinating to me and scores of others. But politics, policy, government control – those are just words. It’s all just talk. And these discussions would be fun and invigorating if it were not for the scores of men, women and children dying THIS VERY MINUTE in an unjust war. Discussion of what any individual sitting safely at home deep in the heart of Texas or Middle America or WHEREVER gained or lost in political currency in this election is disgusting when you contemplate REALITY. People are being killed. Innocent LIVES are being lost for Chrissakes. Where is the outrage over “collateral damage” that we saw after the Oklahoma City bombing? (You may recall that was how Timothy McVay described the children in the day care center who died or were injured in the bombing.) Why aren’t we shedding tears over the dead and maimed children of Iraq? The dead American soldiers – many of them still children themselves? Why must we quibble over the minutiae of campaign strategies when it amounts to zero to any parent/spouse/child who is greeted at the airport by a flag draped coffin or a child/spouse/parent either maimed or so emotionally damaged by the horrors of war that they will never truly recover? How could anyone who purports to follow the teachings of Jesus sleep at night knowing that the killing continues and that this president was in office when we went to war, this president lied about the reasons for going to war and that this president let partisan politics and sheer GREED trump the good of the nation. (Okay, I honestly don’t think it was Bush making the calls. I think those decisions are made by Cheney and Rove and Rumsfeld with little or no input from Shrub who just isn’t smart enough to join in their reindeer games.) But that Americans could overlook these facts and re-elect Cheney’s hand-puppet while their fellow Americans are dying – it’s unfathomable. Really. It is. And I’ve been up since 3am yesterday thinking about it.



My heart aches for our country. We enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But it’s immoral when we allow those principles to degenerate into such callous selfishness. When me and mine is more important that you and yours we definitely have a problem. When fear of anyone who is different – their race, their religion (or lack thereof), their dress, their culture – allows us to turn a blind eye to their suffering then we are approaching very dangerous territory. History has a way of repeating itself and we all know where this kind of fear leads. We’re treading in treacherous waters.



I wish I could sit down with every single soul across the globe and apologize for our President and beg them not to hate all of America for what half of America has done. BTW, don’t know if you’ve seen it yet but there is an awesome website where people can post their photo and apology to the world. I think it’s a fabulous idea! And some of the photos are really funny. And the people all do look really, really sorry. Check it out at: http://www.sorryeverybody.com/



I’m extremely disappointed in the election outcome (and in half the country who would vote for douchebag/gasbag) as is every rational human being on the earth. Yet, I know that this is just the beginning of a long, hard road. I know that most of us agree that we are not defeated! Many gains were made by Democrats across the country. And we have a lot yet to accomplish. No doubt about that. The good news is Barack Obama is in the Senate and even here in Texas Democrats did well! Hubert Vo won a Texas House seat, defeating Talmadge Heflin, a 22-year incumbent and chairman of the Appropriations Committee. Lloyd Doggett and Chet Edwards overcame their gerrymandered districts and won reelection to Congress. Dallas elected Lupe Valdez, a lesbian and former migrant worker, as sheriff. In Austin, Mark Strama took a Texas House seat back from a Republican tied to Tom Delay, and Democrats maintained a hold on all of the civil district court benches. Hell, even Montana elected a Democratic governor, voted down cyanide mining and voted in medical marijuana. (I have a good friend who lives in Kallispell.) It’s not like Bush won in a landslide. HALF of this country vehemently disagree with him and his administration’s policy of rape & pillage. I think we did pretty damn well considering the near insurmountable task of facing down the Rove Machine. And I am motivated to action now more than ever. My anger at slimeball politics motivates me to action. Those killed, maimed and emotionally/psychologically damaged for life in the war, soldiers and civilians alike, motivate me to action. The victims of 9/11 who have yet to receive justice motivate me to action. This is a marathon we’re running and I think we’re all up to the task. We’ve accomplished so much in four short years! And the silver lining is, this administration will have no one to blame for their own incompetence – which would have been inevitable if Kerry took office in January. Because that’s how Rove works and Kerry’s job would have been fighting the evil GOP empire instead of tending to the nation had he won the election. It amazes me that Bill Clinton managed to accomplish anything while he was in office because he faced that fight for eight years. But then that is a true testament to the kind of leader he is. I fully realize – and realize I’m not alone – that we cannot afford to lose momentum now because in 2008 they will no doubt try to get Jeb in the White House or someone equally repugnant. Our job for the next four years is to block them every step of the way from enforcing their right-wing-fundamentalist ideology on all of us. So, onward and upward!



Thanks for listening, Margaret. Thanks for the inspiration. Thanks for being you.



Ciao Bella,
-L-



Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. — Vaclav Havel



I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. — Martin Luther King Jr, Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec. 10, 1964



Bush Has Got To Go

Thursday, August 26th, 2004

Note from Team Cho: Margaret’s working 16 hour days in NYC on a project for a friend plus doing tour press up until her shows at The Apollo on the 28th (2 sold out shows!!). She has no internet access. Her entries this week will be intermittent at best.



We’ve posted a typical letter fom a right wing Bush supporter that Margaret got today (there’s more of the same, here). She has been in the press a lot lately promoting her DVD and new tour. This smear and fear tactic of intimidation and intolerance is how they deal with dissenting opinions. They are afraid and desperate. Please, for the sake of women, people of color, the GLBT communities, and the country, make sure you’re registered to vote and vote.
—– Original Message —–
From: [name and email address removed upon request]*
To: margaret
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2004 10:22 AM
Subject: Bush



Your are a scumbag bitch whore! I hope you rot in Hell! Go back to Asia slant eyes! Bush in a landslide!!!!!!!!!!!!!YEAAAAAHHHHHH!



[Phone number and job title from Ford Cleveland's Engine Plant 1 removed upon request]*



From Damien

Wednesday, June 9th, 2004

An entry from Death row in Arkansas, our dear friend Damien Echols:



Our windows here are these tiny slits from which you can’t see much of anything. Last night I was lying on my bunk when I noticed there was a little more light in here than usual. I started looking out the window, trying to see what the source of the light was. By stooping down and cutting my eyes upward I discovered a full moon. I stayed in that position for awhile, just looking at it. A huge feeling welled up in my chest, like I wanted to moan and cry, just because it was so immense. I could feel what it would be like to be in the country again, walking across the grass under that moon when the world seems to be silent. I wanted to be out there so badly that it was hurting me. It was kind of that sense of loss you have when someone dies. You want to sink to your knees and keep saying “No, no, no, no,” as if that could somehow change things. It was so beautiful, remembering, but still so painful. That’s exactly the kinds of things I need, because it stokes the fire in me that wants freedom. It strengthens my will. You’d be amazed at how easy it is to fall into a pattern in this place, to sink into a funk in which you don’t even think of being out again. That scares me. Perhaps it is just savage superstition, but I always feel like if I don’t want out badly enough, then I won’t ever get out. After, 11 years sometimes it is hard to remember what it was even like. What happens when you can’t remember anything that it was even like. What happens when you can’t remember anything but hell?



Our Man Inside

Thursday, May 20th, 2004

get a pretty good account of prisoner abuse that doesn’t get photographed, that happens daily, most likely in correctional facilities all over – America.



I asked chief correspondent, our man inside, Damien Echols, what it is like where he lives. He has a good sense of humor about his situation, but it makes it nonetheless a travesty of justice and humanity. He is innocent. And he lives like this..



Dear Margaret,



I was very happy to receive your letter, and there is much I want to respond to, but first I’ll jump right to the question because it may take a while to answer. You want to know about a typical day for me, what occupies my time and mind, and what the culture and society are like in here. There are many angles from which I could try to answer that, and I’m going to try to be as complete as possible.



The day begins with breakfast at 3 A.M. they have it so early because they want to get inmates out into the fields as soon as possible. They call it the “hoe squad,” and that’s where Jesse Miskelley is now. It’s considered punishment. There is no job in the world that’s more grueling, back breaking, or demeaning. You have to guard against heat stroke, poisonous snakes and other inmates who may decide to stick a hoe in your head because they’re having a bad day. I feel sorry for Jesse.



Breakfast is the same meal every single morning except Saturday. On Saturday you get pancakes. Every other day you get a scoop of powdered eggs, two biscuits, grits, and watered down gravy. I’m considered somewhat of a freak, because I love powdered eggs. I much prefer them over the real thing. I had never discovered this tasty treat before coming here.



At breakfast they turn the lights on and won’t turn them back off until 5:00 or 5:15, after all the trays have been picked up and put away. I try to get a little more sleep during that time, but it’s never restful because of all the lights and noise. The lights come back on at 7 o’clock, and stay on for the rest of the day. Shortly after this I begin trying to get the phone to make the morning call to Lorri. It’s not always as easy as it sounds.



After I get the phone (if the battery isn’t dead) I call Lorri for 15 minutes. This is the part of my day which soothes and calms me. Her very nature is happiness, and I can’t get enough. I’m always starving for more, and when she answers the phone my first cry is often, “Where ere you?! I nearly died!” to which she responds, “I was right here, and I nearly died!” If someone were listening in on our phone calls they would hear nothing but love and silliness.



Those 15 minute calls to Lorri are the only real conversations I will have in a day. We may talk of Yo Yo Ma (my favorite musician of all time), Deepak Chopra, G.I. Gurdjieff, Balthus, Goya (my favorite artist), Thomas Hardy, dysfunctional families, or we may plan out what we will watch on television together that night. I say this is the only real conversation I will have because there aren’t many people you can actually talk to in prison. Your average prisoner has an I.Q. of 80. That’s only 10 points above retardation. Most can’t even speak English properly, use words they don’t know the meaning of in ways that make no sense, or make up their own words. There are no insane criminal genius types in here. No Hannibal Lecters. That’s only on television. The vast majority of the people on death row are either mentally retarded or mentally ill. You’re not going to find many people who can even follow the same train of thought for very long.



After Lorri and I reluctantly get off the phone I do my morning stretches. Most people seem to have the impression that I’m still a teenager, the kid they saw in “Paradise Lost.” I am definitely not. I’m a nearly 30 year old man whose health has seen better days. When I first et up in the morning my back and neck are a flaming agony. I can’t even bend over the sink to brush my teeth until I’ve done 5 or 10 minutes of stretching. The stress, this place, the worry, and the people I have to deal with have all taken a toll on me. For example, when you’re locked in a cell 24 hours a day, your eyes never focus on anything far away and it plays hell on your sight. I can now only see clearly for about 3 feet in front of me. My hearing isn’t as keen as it once was, either.



At this point I’ll usually sit down to write a letter or two, but lately that has been the exception to the rule because I’ve been writing non-stop on my memoir. It’s nearly complete, so I’ll soon go back to writing letters. I am so behind that I now have about 150 to 200 letters to write.



I take a break at 9:30, which is when they feed lunch. Prison food is as bad as it gets. The meat is often spoiled or so undercooked that it’s inedible, and the vegetables are never washed. They grow them here, and pick them themselves. I’ve actually found grasshoppers and crickets that had been cooked in the greens because no one cleaned them first. People have made it possible for me to be able to avoid most of it, by donating money to the commissary fund.



After lunch I do a few hundred crunches or sit- ups. It’s hard to stay in shape here, so I work out twice a day. Some people go “out,” but I see no point in it. They come by and ask if you want to go “outside.” If you say “yes,” they put your number on a list. When they come to get you they open a slot in the solid steel door (the same one they push your food through) and you stand with your back to it while they reach through and put chains on you. Once that’s done they open the door and take you to another concrete structure that looks like a cross between a horse stall and a grain silo. The inside is coated with bird feces because of the hordes of pigeons who got in and now call it home. The bugs are pretty bad, too. It’s filthy, and the space is even smaller than your cell. You can’t see anyone else, or carry on a conversation. The entire place echoes constantly with the screams of prisoners. I see no point in going out there, so I spend all my time in my cell. It was different before they moved us to this new prison. At the old place we actually went outside, and you could walk around talking to other people, or at least smelling the air. I haven’t felt the sun touch my skin in nearly a year now. You’re expected to live in complete and total isolation. Here, you’re mostly just ignored, sealed away, and forgotten.



After morning exercise I’ll try to do a little meditation. I don’t nearly as much done as I used to. At one point I was getting in up to 5 hours of meditation a day, but no more. Now, since I’ve started writing, I try to get in at least 30 minutes a day. On a good day I’ll get about 10 letters written, if I work non-stop. That doesn’t even put a dent in the load, but it allows me to thank at least a few people for their thoughts and support.



To relax I’ll put my headphones on and listen to music as I read for a while. I can’t take all the teenage angst crap that comes out these days under the title of “rock,” so I mostly listen to the classical station. I love Thomas Quasthoff. He’s a dwarf with the voice of a god. The first time I saw him was on P.B.S., singing 3 rare concert arias by Mozart. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. Any time I hear him come on the radio now I stop whatever I’m doing and give it my total attention. I also love to hear Hillary Hahn play anything, but especially Bach. I believe she’s the best violinist out there today, better than Joshua Bell by a mile.



As for what I read – everything. But my subject by far is history. I’m a history junkie. I used to think that I would want to major in psychology, but that was before I discovered history. Especially Military history – The Romans, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, the Civil War, etc. I love it all.



The second greatest time of the day for me comes at 6 o’clock – mail. That and talking to Lorri are the high points of my day, the things I look forward to. After reading it, I’ll do my second exercise period of the day. Sometimes I’ll do two or three hundred push-ups, other times I’ll run in place for 45 minutes to an hour. This may sound like a lot, but it’s really not when you consider it’s the only exercise I get. There’s no walking around all day for me. Exercise is followed by my nightly shower.



The shower here consists of a spout on the wall and a drain in the floor of my cell. Everything is soaked when you’re finished, so you have to get down on your hands and knees and mop up all the water with your towel. That’s the closest thing to cleaning supplies you will ever get.



After a shower I settle in for the evening. I may watch television if there’s anything on (We only have three channels.) or listen to the radio while reading or writing. Other than classical and opera, the only other music I really love are hair bands. There’s a radio station that comes on for two hours every Saturday night that I will never miss. They play Guns-N-Roses, Saigon Kick, Faster Pussycat, Kixx, L.A. Guns, Skid Row, etc. I’ll take that over Blink 90210 (or whoever the hell they are) any day. I just don’t understand why no one likes Iron Maiden anymore. Or Slayer. Or Pantera.



(editor’s note:I still have much affection for all of these bands. They are the heaviest metal from the truly great age of rock. My dream has always been to one day play Castle Donnington.)



I despise “American Idol.”



( editor’s note: I believe we can all agree on this.)



They turn off the lights at 10:30. If you could train yourself to fall asleep the second the lights went off, you’re still only going to get 4 and a half hours at the most. You can’t sleep straight through though, because you’re constantly awakened by slamming doors, schizophrenic inmates screaming, and rats trying to crawl into our bed as you sleep. The rats are fearless. The night before last I was awakened three times by rats crawling across my feet as they tried to reach a pack of crackers I was saving. The little bastards even chewed a hole in one of my good socks. I save my best ones to wear when Lorri comes every Friday, and now there’s a hole nibbled in one.



The only exception to my routine is Friday, when I get to spend 3 hours with my wife. From P.M. to 4 P.M. we’re locked in a cage together and left to amuse ourselves. Lorri can buy sodas, chips, and candy from a vending machine, and we have a picnic. Sort of. I nearly go into seizures of rapture when I take the first drink of Dr. Pepper, because I always forget how good they are. I can’t have them at any other time. We could buy them at the other prison, but here you drink nothing but water, water, and more water, unless you’re on a visit. It’s agony to have to say goodbye to each other every week after only three hours. It’s never enough.



That’s a typical day in my life, more or less. I’m certain I’ve left out 100 little details that I’ll remember later.



(editor’s note: Regrettably, I had to delete many portions of this letter, because I did not wish to endanger Damien, because he is not yet free, and the truth about where he is, what he deals with, the injustice and the inhumanity are incomprehensible. These revelations made public could far too easily place him in harm’s way. Those 100 little details, and more will be revealed, once justice is finally served.)



I’d better close for now and get busy. Busy taking a nap I desperately need. I’m sending love to you both, and we’ll talk soon.



Yours,
D



Response to David

Thursday, May 6th, 2004

—- Original Message —–
From: David
To: margaret@margaretcho.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 1:24 PM
Subject: The prisoner abuse



Hello,



I am a 20 year Marine. I am not sure my views make me a Freeper or not, I just hope you get my mail. First of all I cannot agree with you more about the prisoners and their treatment. No matter what they did or how they were captured we as Americans cannot lower ourselves to this conduct. I honestly feel that having Army reserves running these detention centers is the cause. There is an apparent lack of leadership here and should be corrected soon.



What I disagree with you on is your opinions on, not only this war, but war in general. What I find sad is that there are people like you who have this view that we should all just get along. Yes its sad to say but that is just not going to happen. There is a portion of the human race that is evil. We have to deal with that evil. Do you honestly feel that certain governments in history could have understood anything other than force? Look at your own heritage in the Korean peninsula. It was dominated and brutalized by Chinese and the Japanese for years. If not for the United States it would [be] one Korea under Kim and not just the north. As for this war we are conducting now. I disagree with you, we cannot cut and run. We are in for the long haul and rightly so. The only mistake we made in the past was in 1991 by not finishing the job then. These terrorist[s] exist all over the world and we have to take the fight to them. We have seen what happens when we lay back and try to love them. Somehow we do not get the love back.



Well I hope you get this. I would love to see your response and talk to you more. I value the human race and life. In fact I love life. I spent 20 years of my life defending it. And just as a side note. I have supported gays in the military.



Thanks



Dave



My attitude toward peace does not depend on which war we are discussing. I think that words should do the work of bombs. Killing only begets more killing. Someone at some point has to be the bigger person, and just turn around and go home. It is surrender, but that isn’t the coward’s way. And if it were, who gives a shit? I am a coward then, but fuck, I am still alive. I can still use my legs and get the fuck out of here.



My own heritage from the Korean peninsula doesn’t sway me one bit. I am not really sure where the Korean peninsula was, and why there was a war there, and what side we were on and why my ancestry should have anything to do with my belief system today. I am super American. I’ve even got a flag. I sleep wrapped up in it “The Who – The Kids Are Alright” style. I love America. I am not moving. It’s cool. I just don’t like seeing dead people. I am just like that kid in “The Sixth Sense.” I see dead people, and I don’t like it.



Look at how every single action this administration has taken in the last four years has to be investigated. That should be proof enough that we need to have an early election. Get this crazy shit over with. Stop the fantasy that we need to be defending freedom, because we don’t even have freedom in our own country yet.



What right do we have to appoint ourselves the freedom fighters of the world? If we are so good at it, where it at? I don’t see no gay people getting married. I don’t see innocent people in jail getting released. I don’t see freedom of speech, nor do I see health care reform, or equal rights for anyone. All I see, that’s right, is dead people and ads for Viagra, Cialis, Levitra and Enzyte.



So many drugs for those unable to get it up and keep it up. I am super glad about your four hour erection, but I was wondering, where is that cure for AIDS? Yeah, AIDS. Remember that? We were kind of needing a cure, like really, about more than twenty years ago. All this research money has been spent on keeping Bob Dole going like the Energizer Bunny. How is this helping us with the problem that there are entirely too many dead people, that we are making more every day.



And our government, who we are bound to by the fact that we elected them (if we even did) does not seem to care one bit at all. They are unfazed by any amount of death, destruction, loss, tragedy, travesty. They call these acts “abhorrent,” but have yet to find the words to apologize. I know that Cheney is up in the White House with a Thesaurus, so that George W. Bush will be able to learn himself one new word a day to describe how bad the shit is, but really, all he needs is “sorry.” Why is that so hard?



Why is all this so hard? Why do these old men need it so hard?