This is a video I shot last week with some old friends. Jack Black was once a guest star on “All American Girl!” And Kathy Najimy was in “Bam Bam and Celeste” as well as “Two Sisters.” I love the song and the message. Enjoy!
Posts Tagged ‘Religion’
Prop 8 The Musical
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008Mormons
Thursday, November 20th, 2008Here is the new video for my protest song! My husband Al directed it and we shot it all on Monday. Ian Harvie and Judd Minter play the Mormons and I think they look hot, and the whole idea behind me playing guitar had to do with that green dress. I thought it looked perfect with the guitar slung across my back, like a very large backwards facing necklace. Anyway, enjoy!
A Protest Song
Monday, November 17th, 2008I spent the weekend in Cleveland and Cincinnati and it was amazing. Even though some devastating things happened on November 4th, Barack Obama still won, and as I watched the election along with everyone else that day, when I saw that Ohio went for Obama, I said “Yes!!! We got this!!†so I wanted to thank Ohio for this great victory. They had a lot to do with it.
In Cleveland, Jessie (our killer merchandise diva with the fuschia locks – if you’ve been to one of the “Beautiful†shows – you know her) and I visited the rock and roll hall of fame, because since I am a musician, it is just one of those things that musicians do. Oh, you didn’t know I was a musician? Yeah. I have been a musician for about 3 days. Well, actually, I got an electric guitar a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t done much except pose with it in front of the mirror. I didn’t actually start playing til Thursday. Maybe that should be my band name, Til Thursday. We are kind of like Til Tuesday, but just later in the week.
I was asked to perform at an anti-Prop 8 rally on the big international day of protest – November 15 – in Cincinnati, and I thought I should write a protest song for it. The fact that there is now a ban on gay marriage just kills my spirit, hurts my heart. I was deputized as a marriage commissioner in San Francisco in June, and I got to marry a gay couple and a lesbian couple at city hall, and it was such an honor and a blessing, and we all wept through the entire thing. It was one of the greatest things I had ever experienced, and the fact that the state considers those unions now against the law just destroyed me emotionally. Momentarily, I lost my will to fight, and I desperately wanted to get it back, and music was the only answer.
I got an acoustic guitar on Wednesday, wrote the song on Thursday, with help from my brother in law, Eric, who is a musician – cuz that is who musicians hang out with, other musicians. Then I practiced for about 32 hours in a row to get ready for Saturday. On the plane I did air guitar like strumming and made the chords with my hands. In my hotel room I played the song so many times I am surprised I was not bodily removed from the premises. I tried it out on the Cleveland crowd on Friday, and they seemed to think it was ok, so I was ready for my big protest singing debut at the rally.
We drove from Cleveland to Cincinnati early on Saturday morning as icy rain pelted down all of I-71, and Liam Sullivan (Kelly) pointed out a sign next to the highway. It said “HELL IS REAL”. I guess it must have been nearby, but the sign didn’t say what exit. If it is real, then they should have some more detailed directions!
We got to city hall and there were hundreds of people there, which is a lot considering that it was freezing cold and fucking raining!!! But tons of people were there with signs and everything. I stood on the steps of city hall and I got out my guitar. My hands were shaking from the cold and also the sheer nerves of having to play guitar in front of people! It was scary. I am not one for stage fright. I have been a standup comic for almost a quarter of a century (gasp), and I am real blasé about the whole thing. Talking in front of people is no big deal. I’m fucking talking, there are people there. Whatever. Public speaking is supposed to be scary, but I have been doing it longer than I have not been doing it, so I am used to it and I just take it for granted like the fucking ingrate that I am. But playing music, that is something else. Wow – I was really nervous. I was like my big dog Ralph when he goes to the vet, all shaking and salivating and trying to back out the front door, like no one will notice if he is walking backwards because he is still looking everyone in the eye, or the crotch, or whatever is dog level. I wanted to put my snout in someone’s elbow, like if I couldn’t see it, it wasn’t happening.
They introduced me, and I fumbled with the guitar for a bit. I got all scared that somewhere between me taking it out of my gig bag – yeah that is a musician’s term for a bag that you bring to the gig – your gig bag – I got all worried that in the few seconds that it was out of the gig bag, that it would go out of tune. I managed to get the strap and get the guitar in front of me semi-correctly. Then, I started to play, and miraculously, the song I wrote just came out of me and I know I messed up some chords but nobody seemed to mind much. It was the spirit of the thing, you know? At the end everyone was singing the chorus with me “Shove Proposition 8 up their ass!†and it felt really great.
I was so proud that so many turned out to protest the gay marriage ban in California – in Ohio!!! That so many all around the world stood up for California that day was overwhelming. I was getting texts from friends all over the place with pictures and reports from their local rallies. I’m gonna write “this machine kills fascists†on the back of my blackberry.
Photos by Amanda Ralston. Thanks Amanda!
Video by missronierho:
I’m a Christian, you Fuckers
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off.
First of all – you fucking fake Christians – don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude.
God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you. He just wants you to be able to make your own decisions. God is all about you and what you need. God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome. God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion, on the 8th day. God accepts. God forgives. God loves all of us, even though some of us might have a problem with each other.
Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!
If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.
Polygamists
Monday, April 21st, 2008I’m so glad I am not a polygamist.
First of all, I don’t really like pie. I know that is weird. Pie is good, but for some reason, I don’t like to eat it because usually it is too hot and I burn my tongue, and it is too sweet, so it gives me a crazy sugar high really fast and then I am exhausted. Polygamists seem to eat a lot of pie. I am not sure if this is a known fact, but a pie seems to complete the polygamist outfit.
Which leads me to the outfit – even though pastels like baby blue, lilac and soft pink flatter me, I don’t want to wear the big shouldered prairie dress. Don’t get me wrong – I love “Little House on the Prairie” but only when it is kept in the realm of ‘drag’ and not worn every day for religious purposes. The shoulders are too wide and lambchoppy to make anyone look good.
I don’t want to marry anyone that much older than me. Not just because of the sex (which would be not so fun to begin with but at least old people finish either super fast or super slow) but because there would be nothing fun to talk about. How do you relate to each other? It would be boring!
I also don’t want to be a polygamist because then I would probably have to cook or clean and I don’t know how to do either of those things. Also I have terrible allergies, so if I had to live in any kind of compound situation I am sure I would die of a runny nose.
I feel really bad for all those children, because they are the victims who are only being punished again by being separated from their families, but how can they be saved from their fate unless they are taken away? The whole thing is super sad but it also makes you really grateful not to be a polygamist.
When I Think of Tibet
Friday, March 28th, 2008As the weeks go by and tensions and violence escalate in Tibet, it makes me more and more anxious. Tibet is a beautiful, mysterious country. I visited many years ago, and although there were always problems (I remember one incident when my travel party was delayed for several hours because of public executions!!) it was much calmer than it is now.
There isn’t enough air, which makes everyone who is just visiting a little high. To add to the trippy nature of the place, pretty much every site is religious. Even the graffiti is of different incarnations of Buddha – painted all over the sides of mountain rocks. If you felt sick, you were encouraged to meditate on the cool, indigo blue medicine Buddha, the deity whose color reminded me of the Milk of Magnesia bottle, whose image would soothe, coat and relieve as you pondered upon it. Tibet has the most challenging toilets in the world. I have been everywhere and I can attest to that! Hands down, Tibet is the number one worst place to go number 2.
But to counter that, Tibet has the best looking people in the world. They are Asian but with light eyes! Like green and blue! So everyone kind of looks like they are wearing contacts but they are not. I remember sitting in the courtyard of the Drepung monastery, watching all the gorgeously hot monks draped in their deep red robes, flinging their prayer beads at each other as they argued about philosophy while trying to steal looks at us at the same time. I know you aren’t supposed to hit on celibate people so I just sat on my hands the whole time and tried not to make eye contact for more than three seconds. Girl, it was hard!
I also loved the dog monastery, a special temple for wayward monks who have reincarnated into dogs. The grounds are covered in dogs of every size and shape and breed and hue, silently pondering the cycle of birth and rebirth. Squirming litters of puppies wriggle underneath their dog mothers and their distinguished elders nap in the patches of sun breaking through the clouds. There is no barking, no howling, no fighting, and miracles of miracles – no poo! – nothing but the quiet mediation of dogs and monks. You are allowed to feed the dogs small pieces of dough, and they actually wait in line! When I think of Tibet, I remember the politeness of the dogs, pulling back their dog lips and ever so gently taking the food from my hand with their open teeth, not wanting to bite my hand accidentally and then looking warmly into my eyes with a silent thanks. The thought of rioting and looting and blood in the streets there is too painful to comprehend.
This entry is cross-posted at The Huffington Post
Brand New Sins!
Friday, March 21st, 2008The pope has just released a number of brand new sins! They include drugs, pollution and genetic manipulation. I am not sure how he gets to do this, but if he can, I think everyone should be able to! So here are some new sins from me (not in any particular order…)
Tailgating. Thou shalt not drive too close to other cars. Mortal sin. People can get killed. One time, I was being tailgated so close on the freeway that it felt like the other car was raping my car. I mean it was a vehicular sexual assault. He kept pounding the back of my car until his car just blew up and sprawled across multiple lanes blocking traffic up for miles. Isn’t that just like a man?
Talking too loud in someone’s ear at a club. Thou shalt not try to talk over the booming techno beat, shattering your friend’s eardrums and annoying everyone in the process. You don’t even get heard, you strain your voice, you hurt their ears, no information is that important. Thou shalt wait til thou is outside.
Homophobia – thou shalt not be a homophobe! (this is something the pope cannot get enough of!)
Sexism and racism in the presidential race. Thou shalt not try to use gender or racial stereotypes in order to undermine presidential candidates, no matter who thou might vote for!
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