There’s a found Beatles audition letter floating around that just got all this money at auction. I was thinking about the things that I had around me of incredible and singular value that I lost. Not of the ethereal nature like wit and joy and talent. Quickness and sharpness of the tongue hasn’t got a price tag. Those things have value above what numbers can count. More like these odd things that I ended up acquiring that I gave away easily that now I think maybe I should not have, but they don’t really matter. The first is the beatles sheets I had purchased at an antique fair for maybe $30. They were tiny pieces of the actual sheets the boys had slept on that were issued as promotional items in 1964. I had all four beatles sheets fragments sealed in glass as if they were reliquaries, tiny, holy pieces of martyred saints used to prove or uphold or amplify the sanctity of a church, if so can be. The sheets hung around my home which was the church of man or the church of my love or the church of rock and roll, but I grew tired of them, and they took up too much space, and I felt I changed over somehow mid-life from mod to rocker, like Virginia Woolf’s Orlando and that i wanted something else. I gave these sheets away to the first person that would take them and replaced the fab four’s linens with a Jarvis Cocker poster, not that it made me more of a rocker, rather it sustained and informed further my mod status. My mod eventuality. It’s actually more rocker, now I realize, in my older days and infinite wisdom, to like the beatles, and to like them then in 1964, when they really were pretty rocker. So those sheets are gone and I would have loved them in my adult lady suped up super duper rock and roll palace today. Where are you Beatles sheets? Perhaps I will encounter you once again in the elephant graveyard that is ebay. We shall all end up there in time. The other item of value I had were meant to be payment from a commercial I did for a fledgling young company called Apple in the early 90s. They didn’t pay for endorsements then, so I received a new in the box still laptop computer, which I never took out of the box. In addition to this great treasure, I was given an early version of the Mac camera which was essentially a prototype and not mass produced. The gifts were given to me in a large bag which I never opened – all throughout the 90s the bag and interred boxes remained sealed and then in 2000s sometime I just gave them away, or even perhaps threw them away in a pique – a fit of cleaning and orderliness – a tiny hurricane felix unger – that will descend on my psyche every now and again. I am talking about a never used laptop and camera from Apple from maybe 1990, still in boxes, still in plastic, the little wire paper thingies holding the powercords and all together, and I know that if you are still reading this you probably just had some kind of nerdgasm all over your keyboard.














































