Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Pistol Whipped

Monday, November 29th, 2010

Everyone was trying to pit me against Bristol, but the truth is, we got along well. She never asked me to babysit Tripp or anything like that, but I consider her a friend. So what’s my take on her television debut? Well…



Why did Bristol do Dancing with the Stars? I heard from someone who really should know (really should seriously know the dirt really really) that the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it. Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly (in the circles that I heard it from) for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol she “owed” it to her to do DWTS so that “America would fall in love with her again” and make it possible for Sarah Palin to run in 2012 with America behind her all the way. Instead of being supposedly “handicapped” by the presence of her teen mom daughter, now Bristol is going to be an “asset” – a celebrity beloved for her dancing. I am sure the show wasn’t in on this (but who knows anything really).



Although I don’t agree with the family’s politics at all, I really like Bristol as a person. She’s warm and incredibly supportive, and I think that she looks beautiful out on the dance floor. It’s heartbreaking that people are so awful to her about her weight. I think she looks fantastic, and why does everybody think they have a right to comment on our bodies? What are young girls going to take away from that? If people call her fat what kind of impact does that have on women who have similar body types – which is most of us??!! Still, it is a dance competition, and so I am sure that people feel they have the right to judge bodies and not just ability. That’s just wrong.



Bristol is learning. She improved a lot, in my opinion. Her tango was fierce and really the best dance she did. You really do learn to dance in this competition! I am proud of her for shaking her ass! But keep in mind there are other forces at work here and it’s not just for the love of dance.



Now I am scared I am going to wake up with a decapitated moose head in my bed.



The World I Would Like To Live In

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

I attended a special event at the White House to celebrate Asian American history month, which I never know when it is. I am guessing it is May because this is May. But to me every month is Asian history month mostly because I am in a constant state of learning about it and myself and how we came to be in this country and how we stay here and constantly reinvent and redefine who we are.



It was a really cool shindig, with lots of people I absolutely adore in the (white) house such as angryasianman (who is super hot and sexy in person btw – sorry to objectify you but you’re adorable), DJ Rekha, Kelly Hu and my old friend Kal Penn who actually works there! I saw him outside with a clipboard, which to me means working because nobody has a clipboard unless they are hard at work.



We were treated to lots of the good white house crème brulee and hot bhangra beats from DJ Rekha and then waited for the President to come and give a speech. I haven’t been to the White House since the Clinton administration, so it was a wonderful feeling to come back after all these years and feel so welcome. Even though the building is the same, the place has changed so much. All the White House staffers are so young! It’s really fantastic to see the younger generation so passionate about politics and devoting all their energy to the Obama administration. It’s rock and roll and very exciting!



Speaking of rock and roll, of course when Obama was giving his speech, I secured a spot right in the front row. I have been to enough rock shows and been a groupie long enough to know that when you want to get backstage, you have to stand in front of the lead singer, not directly facing him but slightly to his left, where the rockstar eye naturally rests. Anyways, during his speech, the president actually winked at me! He came down off the podium and walked over to me and held my hand for several minutes and told me he was a fan of mine and that I am very funny and he enjoyed my comedy immensely. He asked what I was doing and if I was touring and I said I was working for Lifetime and about to go on tour and overall, trying to represent. And he said, “well you are doing a fine job representing us all… a wonderful job! Very very funny!” and then he got pulled away by his multitude of security and staff and fans. It was an incredible moment for me and something I will treasure for the rest of my life. Because to me Obama is much more than the leader of the free world. Yes he is president and he is the most important dude on earth, but his meaning goes far beyond political office. What Obama represents to me is the idea that we have come so far as a nation in terms of race and acceptance and inclusion that we can have a president who is not white. I think that this resounds so deeply with me and all those who have felt at one time or another like ‘the other.’ Obama’s meaning in society today is practically mythological. His presence means we have arrived somewhere different. Somewhere better. This is the world I would like to live in.



Politics are changing, and it’s tremendously exciting. If you live in San Francisco, I urge you to check out Theresa Sparks who is running for office there. She is another person, like Barack Obama, whose meaning and work and presence is almost mythological. Almost legend. Her story is much like that of Harvey Milk, and she is so similar that Stuart Milk has spoken on her behalf many times and also is a major player in her campaign for office in San Francisco. I have had the pleasure of knowing Theresa for many years. I first met her when she invited me to join the board of Good Vibrations, where I served for two years. I got to know her very well through our many board meetings and lots and lots of dinner parties talking late into the night. I was impressed by her on so many levels. Theresa Sparks is a transwoman who has fought homophobia and prejudice and hatred coming from so many different sides, eventually prevailing over so much ignorance to finally becoming President of the police commission. It’s incredible that a transgendered person is capable of surviving in the police force at all but to have the strength and passion and intellect and moxie to actually become the President of the police commission – it’s a downright miracle. I believe in Theresa Sparks and her continuing capacity for miracles. She has worked tirelessly for the LGBT community in San Francisco, focusing primarily on the transgendered community, which is the part of our family that always seems to get left out, and she is a true political icon and heroic figure for me and countless others.



Still, her campaign has been fraught with much ignorance. When seeking endorsement from the ‘liberal’ women’s political groups, Theresa has been told that they only support ‘real women.’ I think this is disgusting. Not only is Theresa Sparks a real woman, she is an inspiration to all women. She is a fighter, a survivor, a whipsmart businesswoman, a mother, the kind of leader my beloved hometown needs. She is someone who will change San Francisco, and in doing so, change the world, something that has to happen and happen right now. I no longer live in the beautiful city by the bay, but I still love it, I still care about what happens there and so I urge you to see what Theresa Sparks is doing. Like Obama, she’s a symbol that the world is changing. And we are all better for it.



Prayers for Haiti

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I am sending out many prayers constantly to Haiti, to the world, to the forces of nature. Please help us help our people. What is happening to the earth? Why are you so violently opposing us? We are only human beings. What have we done? Do we not worship you enough? It’s probably true. We don’t. As inhabitants of a great and vengeful mother, we abuse her love constantly. Do we give thanks to the air we breathe? I don’t. Do we thank her for water as it pours down in vast, unending grey sheets and leaves my tiny California town awash in mud and blinking traffic lights? I am not thanking her for that, as I watch the soil slowly break and melt away from the roots of the mighty trees that have lived for maybe a century behind the new apartment complexes being built on my block.



We try to build up, continue construction, try to act as if the ground will hold us, when it will never promise to. It will shake us off any second. It’s a wonder anyone anywhere is alive ever. The way we treat the planet, we truly don’t deserve to live on her. The way we treat each other, it is as if we act like we aren’t all in this together. This life. The world is you, the world is me. When one place hurts, everything hurts. In Haiti, when people are still dying underneath the rubble of the terrible earthquake, cruise ships are still docking, with rich tourists trying to act like death isn’t surrounding them. Just because they are just out of earshot of the screams, isn’t the smell of death permeating the air?



Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are using the horror of this tragedy and the suffering of human beings to make political points about race and ‘the devil.’ I don’t understand why Rush Limbaugh still insists on speaking publicly while he is high. I have nothing against drugs really, but I do think that when you are high, you should keep your dumb, drug-addled thoughts to yourself. And Pat Robertson, well, he should just be put down. He clearly needs to be put out of his misery, so we can be put out of ours for having to hear anything he has to say. How dare he call this tragedy a result of ‘a pact with the devil’? Who is the devil? You, Pat Robertson, are the devil. Or in the service of one. Go to him. He needs you back.



When I think about Haiti, the little I know, I know that the people are resilient. They must be, to have endured such poverty and political upheaval and strife and tragedy and everything. And everything. Voodoo/Santeria is not devil worship. Many of the religious traditions of Haiti have a deep connection with Africa, as the slaves brought over so many years ago continued to worship their gods under the constant gaze of their masters and the clergy trying to convert them to ‘christianity.’ They kept their deities – throughout the utter dehumanization of slavery and the insanity of people thinking they can own people and that they can somehow save them through this ownership – cannily cloaking them in the faces, statues, images and garb of Catholic saints. I just think that is so damn cool.



I want to pray to Yemaya and Oshun, or Erzuli as she is called in Haiti – orishas that I have only a passing acquaintance with. I don’t know them well enough to say they are my goddesses. I only know them enough to say hi sometimes, when I see them. But those who do know tell me I am under the watch of both of these beautiful mothers. For some reason, they share me. They have joint custody. And even though I belong to them, I don’t know all their Haitian names. They have different ones sometimes in Haiti, as they do in Nigeria, as they do in Brazil, as they do in Cuba, as they do in Mexico, as they do in Los Angeles. But when I call them, I know they know I am calling them, even if I have the name wrong in my phone book, even though the letters are misspelled in my haste and sometimes include numbers.



Oshun – I know, is said to answer prayers very quickly, like me with my emails. Oshun has a Blackberry Storm, made of gold and honey and vanilla beans and peacock feathers and the love of humankind, and it’s always on, and you can text her anytime and she will get back to you as soon as you have hit ‘send.’ She is always in range, although now, I am sure she is very busy, saving people, helping people save people, helping people send love and money and support via her care, saving lives, sparing lives, comforting those who have lost.



Yemaya, the orisha of the sea, and the mother of all humanity, is probably perplexed by the cruise ships docking on her Haitian ports. She is probably only allowing them to stay there as long as they are delivering much needed aid to her people. They fucking better be. Seriously, they better be.



I want Chango to strike down all those who use this pain to further their ‘political’ agendas. I want Oya to guide the dead swiftly to the afterlife. I want to ask the earth for mercy. And I want Pat Robertson to shut the fuck up.

Haiti Earthquake Relief: How You Can Help



White House Crashers

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

I am convinced those people got into that white house state dinner because they are white. I attended a state dinner during the Clinton administration and they did such a thorough background check before I was even allowed to RSVP that I was coming I thought they were going to ask me for a stool sample – we are talking DEEP BACKGROUND – and I am fucking famous. And I was fucking famous then. White people always look more INVITED than non white people.



A little WM3 News

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

A little West Memphis Three news:





I am so glad they walked out. John Fogleman is the last person who should be seeking an office like this.



From the Arkansas News:



More than a dozen protesters, unhappy with the way John Fogleman prosecuted three men for the 1993 murders of three West Memphis 8-year-olds walked out of a news conference Tuesday in which the Crittenden County circuit judge announced his candidacy for the state Supreme Court.
Fogleman made his announcement in the Old Supreme Court chambers at the state Capitol.
Fogleman announced to a crowd of about 50 that he plans to run in the May 2010 election to fill the seat of Justice Tom Glaze, who retired last year. Arkansas Appeals Court Judge Courtney Henry is also running for the seat.
The protesters, who took off their shirts to reveal T-shirts that read “Abuse of Power” or “West Memphis Three,”  silently walked out of the room while Fogleman was discussing his candidacy and reasons for seeking the office.



Let My People Go

Monday, June 8th, 2009

I am very concerned about Euna Lee and Laura Ling, the American journalists for Current TV who just got sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean labor camp. It’s alarming and terrible. I could easily see myself in their position. You are trying to do your job and then you get caught up in something huge and unstoppable.



What’s so messed up about this particular situation is that because they are Asian American, I worry that North Korea feels less guilty about punishing them. They wouldn’t ever have the courage to do this to white journalists, especially white male journalists. Since Lee and Ling look like their own, they feel they can treat them like their own – and in North Korea, this is not a good thing. And since Asian Americans are not as easily defined as “American” I’m afraid that these two will get lost in the shuffle. It’s the strange rootless consequence of Asian American identity played out to the worst possible conclusion. Could you imagine the same thing happening to Anthony Bourdain? He could have negotiated his way out with a bottle of Crown Royal and some Marlboro reds. If Andrew Zimmern went there to eat live octopus and was nabbed by Kim Jong Il, he’d be free before the tentacles stopped wiggling in his mouth.



But this is a serious situation. I am not sure if people see Euna Lee and Laura Ling as American, but they are just as American as the notion of freedom of speech. Let my people go!



Angry Asian Man and Feministing both have links on how you can help.



What part of KO do you not understand?

Friday, April 10th, 2009

OK, this is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. The name she had a problem with was Ko. What part of “KO” do you not understand? - Is it the “k” or the “o”? It’s Ko, dummy. You do not need to learn Chinese to say it. Just open your dumb mouth and with your dumb voice say “Ko.” See? It’s easy dumbass! This is ridiculous. And she is a politician!!! I don’t understand when people have trouble with my name! Like they say “Chow? Chow? Margaret Chow? Chow?” There’s no “w”! And why is it so hard? It’s just one syllable. Many Asian names are just one syllable!!! This shithead needs to resign for reasons of inexcusable ignorance, racism and straight up stupidity!!!



I am thinking about how straight white men have it so easy. They really do! When watching the Billy Bob crazy interview I was struck by how much entitlement he had! He felt he could be a complete asshole to the interviewer because he didn’t think he was being treated fairly. I have endured countless radio interviews where DJs have been completely racist towards me – mispronouncing my name, which should be totally easy (and also I have been in the public eye for coming up on two decades so they should have at least heard someone say my name at least one time, or they could venture a guess….hmmm, CHO…..now that wasn’t that hard was it?!) and haven’t lost it completely because I didn’t want people to get the impression that I was a loose cannon or overly defensive – because I wanted people to come to my shows and no one likes an angry comic – unless they are straight and white and male!!



I have had interviews where I have been told to my face that I was “ugly” and “fat” and asked, in real seriousness, how I dealt with that! I have been introduced with chinky music playing in the background I don’t know how many times! People think it is ok to be racist and ignorant toward me because it is generally perceived that I am ‘cool with it.’ I am not cool with it but we live in a society where racism isn’t viewed as such when it is directed at Asian Americans. How do you deal with this kind of stupidity when it’s so rampant?



This latest incident with Betty Brown, the lawmaker from Texas, is such a prime example of the duhduhdumbness that flourishes in our culture and I am completely sick of it. She needs to resign out of sheer inability to accept that Asian Americans are valid human beings with the right to have names that she cannot pronounce because she’s such an idiot.