Posts Tagged ‘Things I Love’

George Michael

Friday, December 16th, 2011

I have been a fan of George Michael since Wham was a four person outfit – since when it was George, Andy, Pepsi and Shirley. I liked their leather jackets and short and spiky hair, their voices held together by now primitive sounding hip hop beats and brass. They wore short boots and long pants and looked 1950′s and looked rocker, like Guys and Dolls, but really to me it was, Gays and Hags and that looked right to me then and made me feel like I was understood.



And they were ahead of their time even though their style echoed the past. Wham UK looked then like they all worked at a salon that could have been transformed by Tabitha’s Salon Takeover on Bravo. And George, the charismatic leader, could have been the owner of the salon, or at the very least, the colorist.



His hair changed hue over these many years and I have to say I have enjoyed every style, every coif, even the big coppery round brush sculpture of the Careless Whisper video. I bought that hair on him. The man is beautiful and he can sell a look, even one that requires that much heat styling.



As we know, George stood out and down amongst the 80′s superstars as the best male vocalist (the best female being of course, Cyndi Lauper – then and now), and a little dance band like Wham UK couldn’t contain his formidable talent. Those kind of pipes come around once in a millenia, and we haven’t heard another like them since the birth of recorded sound, so really, George is all we have.



If you haven’t heard his cover of the queer classic “Calling You”, I dare you to have a premenstrual listen on YouTube (I can’t find his version on itunes wtf?!) and not cry. This behemoth of a song spans many octaves, more than two normal singers combined, and George scales them all handily with his finely tuned low and high, growl and soar, light and dark. In his throat the song is realized fully for its potential as sound representing the soul. It is one of my favorite songs, and covered by numerous icons like Barbra and Celine – but sorry ladies, George sings it best. I love Etta James version too.



Calling You is a gay anthem if there ever was one, right up there with True Colors and I Will Survive and Mighty Real. Hearing George sing it has power and meaning beyond just a pretty handful of notes bound together with skill and adept emotional recall, as he was one of the first major celebrities I thought about and then later knew as being gay. Hearing him sing it feels like a revelation and a revolution and apologia and action. What can i say? I love the song, and I love George.



I had a chance to meet him once, and I didn’t do it, and I have kicked myself metaphorically a million times because of it. We were both at the premiere for the wonderful film “It’s My Party”, which I am in. George and I were both in attendance, although I didn’t know it was him at first, the pistil, the stamen in the center of a cabbage rose cluster of beautiful gay men, each like a petal, dewy and young and fine and rich. They fell away, one by one, he loves me, he loves me not. I watched them with fascination and desire, the way I have looked at gay men my entire life, wanting to see them, wanting to be them, this wanting which has long defined me.



Suddenly everyone was gone and I saw that it was him, it was George, and George turned to me, his hair this time in a close cropped caesar, very 90′s new and modern as it was the high 90′s then. His suit was tight and fit his lean body with an elegance that could only mean great wealth earned by talent not by heritage. We locked eyes and he stared into mine for several seconds, recognizing me from the film we had just seen together. I saw the beginning of a smile and then a slow walk towards me, but one of the petals came back and took his arm and in a fraction of a second, our moment was lost. I left the party never having met him, and have wanted that night back ever since.








Beauty

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Old dogs listen up! New tricks can be learned! It takes an extra bit of effort, but it’s worth it. I think that beauty is mysterious but fair mistress, and the more you do to keep her, the longer she will stay. There’s a myth that beauty is pain, a harsh dominatrix who desires nothing but your suffering to sate her perverted desires. She wants your blood, your hunger, your money and she gives you back the empty pleasure of your vanity – but I realize that this is not a true being. There is no evil queen, no sleep inducing poison apple, no one is the fairest of all and that’s not the way beauty is. Beauty is more like a friend who has some conditions on the friendship, so not a true real deep friend, more of a shallow one. Like “you give me a ride to the airport, I will pick you up at the airport” kind of buddy. You wash your face at night, I won’t make your face erupt in adult acne in the morning. You use toner on your t-zone, I won’t aggravate your combination skin. You find the right color of lipstick, I will make valet parking attendants bring your car up around first and give it to you for free (of course I insisted on paying – but such is the strength of knowing your own colors).



My mother first informed me of the idea that beauty was pain, as she plucked her own thickly natural eyebrows into the hard, 70s spare lines of the era. “Beauty is pain” she said blankly, as her black eyebrow hairs seemed to turn brown because of the redness of her angry skin underneath her ineffectual Maybelline tweezers. This was a time before Tweezerman and Shu Uemera before we could really pluck those tiny hairs in microscopic earnest. I believed her and ruthlessly tried to avoid beauty for much of my young and then adult life. I am not a masochist. I don’t want pain. And therefore, beauty and I are incompatible. I no longer believe this to be true. To be beautiful is actually to be aware of yourself as art, and to frame your art in a way that is unique to yourself and easy to yourself and fun to yourself.  We are just masterpieces waiting to be framed and mounted and lighted then worshipped. We are worth this, as we are more priceless than anything.



In the last few months I have been practicing this “myself as art” theory, and I have seen a marked improvement in areas that needed a boost, and it hasn’t cost me any more money really. It’s an investment in time, but not a lot, and it’s helped me feel good about myself, which is all we really need on earth, to feel good. To not have dread when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror – which I would do – I would actually feel horror at my own reflection, wishing myself a vampire, wishing myself undead so I would have to endure the image of my ugliness. I don’t feel ugly anymore, and no one has called me that in a very long time (believe me I used to hear it often, maybe more than once a day – seriously!). I am editing my closet and makeup drawers. I am wearing what is attractive on me on my face and body and really only that. Everything I have – its sole purpose is to flatter me, and if it doesn’t, it’s gone. Into a pile that might hopefully flatter someone else, out of my life to welcome another jacket/boot/shirt/scarf/lipstick/eyelash that will realize my beauty further. Make everything work in concert to bring out the beauty in you. Old dogs are the best at learning new tricks because we have been through it all, we know who we are, we know all about it.



Some youtube videos are excellent tutors and teachers. My favorite - Catalina is a genius. She’s Korean and probably could be my daughter. She’s lovely and so smart and also has great tips for skincare. We have similar skin. I have learned a lot from her especially regarding sensitive skin and how to do my eye makeup.



Catalina - Natural Flawless Look

Catalina - Natural Flawless Look

I love these girls – Korean too! park and cube - gorgeous style, photographs – and also Shini is very funny. She’s amazing. She looks like she could be in my family also – there’s a striking familial familiarity. I love her posts.



park & cube

park & cube

This blog – Luxirare -  is also exceptional – in so many ways. I am obsessed with Ji Kim’s design and her cooking and I want everything she posts – either to eat or to wear. I am constantly floored by the creativity of people, and the art which they choose to make from their lives. This blog is really a lesson in how we can live, how we should live – what is possible. We should live every moment like this. I plan to.



LUXIRARE

LUXIRARE